


hatsune miku vs. the world & knuckles: the electric boogaloo™

by afterreign



Category: UTAU, Vocaloid
Genre: "WARNING! STRONG MEMEING AHEAD PROCEED WITH CAUTION", Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Puns, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Dick Pics, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Skype, Slice of Life, idk what this is really but it has a lot of memes?, my beta told me to add this when i asked what tags i should use:, thanks my dude
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 16:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11832336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterreign/pseuds/afterreign
Summary: mikumikumii♪: pikkun is smart, see? ( ^▽^)っGiganticOTN: Am I not smart Miku? ;)mikumikumii♪: ( ^▽^)っ✂╰⋃╯GiganticOTN: Im sorry I asked(alternatively: Miku accidentally adds her shut-in best friend Piko to a Skype group meant for studying. And things branch off from there.)





	1. olly olly arsloid-free

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [if 2 phantom thieves were on the moon and one killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10899048) by [mellofricker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellofricker/pseuds/mellofricker). 



> uh
> 
> hi
> 
> so i havent written in a long time bc ive been in such a writing slump, but i decided to try writing something i enjoyed and i LOVE chatroom/texting fanfics. i also felt like going back to my roots, which was vocaloid, so there you go
> 
> um
> 
> here's the key for all the usernames:  
> mikumikumii♪ - miku  
> boku_no_piko - piko  
> GiganticOTN - len  
> ❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ - yukari  
> whatsnewpussycat - iroha  
> 牙音☪ - longya
> 
> so
> 
> enjoy!!

_October 15, 2017  
_ _11:37 AM_

_mikumikumii♪ added GiganticOTN, ❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄, 牙音☪, whatsnewpussycat, and boku_no_piko to a group_

**mikumikumii♪** : aaaaaaaand it’s here! our new group chat (●っゝω・)っ～☆  
**mikumikumii♪** : welcome, one and all!! ＼(＾▽＾)／  
**whatsnewpussycat** : THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so eat my ass, arsssssssss  
**GiganticOTN** : Im so relieved  
**GiganticOTN** : Tbh I thought Id be kicked out first but guess not  
**GiganticOTN** : But are we gonna actually celebrate this “occasion”??  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ofc  
**whatsnewpussycat** : who do you think we are  
**GiganticOTN** : Well youre Iroha  
**GiganticOTN** : Btw Im changing the name of the group this time

_GiganticOTN renamed group to Study group -1_

**whatsnewpussycat** : ok shut up  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and um thats not even a good name  
**牙音☪** : Good afternoon, everyone. I know we are all… eager that we’ll be Ars-free in this group, but need I remind you that we are all in class?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : lololol  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ars-free  
**whatsnewpussycat** : free of the ass  
**牙音☪** : … That wasn’t meant to be humorous, but I’m glad you find some enjoyment in my words.  
**mikumikumii♪** : so refined like always, longya (￣▽￣)  
**牙音☪** : Thank you for the compliment, Miku.  
**GiganticOTN** : Yeah unlike someone in this chat  
**whatsnewpussycat** : do you  
**whatsnewpussycat** : do you wanna go banana boy  
**whatsnewpussycat** : lord of flies is gonna come straight at ur face  
**GiganticOTN** : Uh  
**GiganticOTN** : Id take you on right now but Mrs. Sakine is already sick of our bs so  
**牙音☪** : Yukari would also yell at you two, as well.  
**GiganticOTN** : … Yeah  
**whatsnewpussycat** : … yeah  
**mikumikumii♪** : yea  
**GiganticOTN** : … Why are you saying yeah  
**mikumikumii♪** : because i can? ( ˙꒳˙ )  
**GiganticOTN** : …   
**GiganticOTN** : Okay thats fair  
**mikumikumii♪** : yay!! ＼(≧▽≦)／  
**whatsnewpussycat** : o shit  
**whatsnewpussycat** : mrs sakine saw me on the phone  
**GiganticOTN** : Whats up  
**mikumikumii♪** : waddup?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : stfu len, at least memeku memes right  
**whatsnewpussycat** : oH GOD SHES COMING  
**whatsnewpussycat** : SHES GONNA GRAB MY PHONUJSDFGHJ  
**whatsnewpussycat** : KTDJTXLBLF  
**whatsnewpussycat** : AUHWS  
**GiganticOTN** : Aaand her phone is taken away again lol  
**牙音☪** : I tried warning her…   
**mikumikumii♪** : a tragedy (o_ _)ﾉ彡  
**GiganticOTN** : I think its her third time this week?? She really needs to stop checking her phone so much  
**mikumikumii♪** : .. suree (￢_￢;)  
**mikumikumii♪** : as you constantly check ur phone for any nudes you get 24/7 (￢_￢;;)  
**mikumikumii♪** : do you see how much im sweating from ur lies (￢_￢;;;)  
**GiganticOTN** : Your kaomojis wound me Miku  
**GiganticOTN** : Crap. Teacher saw me  
**mikumikumii♪** : (￢_￢;;;;)  
**GiganticOTN** : They really do wound me  
**GiganticOTN** : K gotta give my phone up so later guys  
**mikumikumii♪** : byebye (*・ω・)ﾉ  
**牙音☪** : Goodbye!

_GiganticOTN is now offline_

**mikumikumii♪** : iroha and len are gone forever now 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。  
**牙音☪** : Only until they get their phones back.  
**牙音☪** : Aren’t you afraid you’ll be caught with your phone as well?  
**mikumikumii♪** : i have lunch right now so i’m fine ┐(︶▽︶)┌  
**牙音☪** : Ah, I see.  
**mikumikumii♪** : wait, do you have study right now? i know you don’t have lunch with me today sooo… (・・ ) ?  
**牙音☪** : I don’t.  
**牙音☪** : I’m just able to hide my phone well.  
**牙音☪** : ;)  
**mikumikumii♪** : w(°ｏ°)w  
**牙音☪** : Haha, I’ll be logging off now. I’ll talk to you after I’m finished with work from my father. Goodbye!  
**mikumikumii♪** : i’ll do that too then. byeee~! (o^ ^o)ﾉ  
  
_牙音☪ is now offline_

_mikumikumii♪ is now offline_

* * *

_October 15, 2017_  
_2:13 PM_  
  
**whatsnewpussycat** : were ars-free but at what cost  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i was away from my phone and the emotional damage is done  
**GiganticOTN** : Dont cry…   
**GiganticOTN** : Youll just make your face worse…   
**mikumikumii♪** : welcome back, guys! ╰(*´︶`*)╯  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i dont deserve this you fuckboi  
**whatsnewpussycat** : plus sakine was 10 times nicer to you than me??  
**whatsnewpussycat** : she even let you log out!!!!!1!  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hi miku  
**GiganticOTN** : Thats probably because you hissed at her before she had to rip your phone away from you  
**GiganticOTN** : Hey Miku  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Longya warned everyone! Although, he was talking to you all in class, too…   
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : And hello, Miku  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i call discrimination  
**GiganticOTN** : Youre just jealous  
**GiganticOTN** : Of my dashing looks  
**whatsnewpussycat** : you look like a cheese stick  
**GiganticOTN** : HELLO KITTY IS SHIT  
**whatsnewpussycat** : tAKE THAT BACK  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** :  _Everyone_  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Let’s not be childish  
**mikumikumii♪** : (｡•́︿•̀｡)  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Except Miku  
**mikumikumii♪** : (｡•́ ᵕ •̀｡)  
**GiganticOTN** : Alright  
**whatsnewpussycat** : fiiiiine  
**GiganticOTN** : Sorry Yukari  
**whatsnewpussycat** : yeah that ^  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Good. I should also remind you, Len, that nudes are considered child pornography, so exercise with caution please.  
**GiganticOTN** : Right sorry  
**GiganticOTN** : Got it  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : But speaking of… pornography…   
**mikumikumii♪** : (・・ ) ?  
**GiganticOTN** : Uh  
**whatsnewpussycat** : omfg  
**whatsnewpussycat** : does yukari want yaoi recs finally??  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : What?! NO! I merely wanted to point out that Miku added someone with an… interesting name to the group  
**boku_no_piko** : … hi, guys  
**whatsnewpussycat** : woah stranger danger  
**mikumikumii♪** : pikkun! Σ(°ロ°)  
**GiganticOTN** : Hey there, hows it going? Are you a girl? ;)  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Hello. I assume you’re one of Miku’s friends?  
**boku_no_piko** : yeah. Pretty sure micchan added me to the wrong group, so sorry guys  
**boku_no_piko** : and no? Does it matter if I’m a girl  
**GiganticOTN** : No its nothing  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i have so many questions  
**whatsnewpussycat** : who are you  
**whatsnewpussycat** : where did you come from  
**whatsnewpussycat** : where did you go  
**whatsnewpussycat** : where did you come from  
**whatsnewpussycat** : cotton eye joe  
**boku_no_piko** : ……………   
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I’m sorry for her behavior. But do you mind sharing your name? I believe introductions are in order  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Of course, you don’t need to, if you are uncomfortable with them. I think we are all just curious  
**boku_no_piko** : no no, it’s fine  
**boku_no_piko** : its just,, a little weird but i dont mind  
**boku_no_piko** : i’m piko. And before you ask about my name, i never watched and never will watch boku no pico  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s just that every time i tell someone my name, they always make a boku no pico joke, so might as well make it myself before anyone else can do it  
**mikumikumii ♪** : pikkun is smart, see? ( ^▽^)っ  
**GiganticOTN** : Am I not smart Miku? ;)  
**mikumikumii♪** : ( ^▽^)っ✂╰⋃╯  
**GiganticOTN** : Im sorry I asked  
**GiganticOTN** : Anyway hey. Im Len!  
**GiganticOTN** : I know I sound like a total flirt but you can talk to me whenever  
**boku_no_piko** : i’ll… try to remember that  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : My name is Yukari. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Piko  
**mikumikumii♪** : i’m miku! but you already know that! ☆⌒(≧▽° )  
**boku_no_piko** : i have never seen you in my life  
**mikumikumii♪** : (╥﹏╥)  
**GiganticOTN** : -whistles-  
**GiganticOTN** : Never seen anyone able to be mean to Miku  
**GiganticOTN** : As long as theyre close friends ofc  
**whatsnewpussycat** : you two seem too close tho  
**whatsnewpussycat** : btw im iroha but thats not important  
**whatsnewpussycat** : micchan????? pikkun????????  
**whatsnewpussycat** : aRE YOU GUYS  
**whatsnewpussycat** : D  
**whatsnewpussycat** : A  
**boku_no_piko** : NO  
**mikumikumii♪** : nope  
**GiganticOTN** : Holy shit  
**GiganticOTN** : No kaomoji? This is serious  
**whatsnewpussycat** : aww  
**boku_no_piko** : we’re just in the same friend group on the internet  
**mikumikumii♪** : were best friends! ヾ(￣ー￣(≧ω≦*)ゝ  
**boku_no_piko** : and i’m guessing,, this is a study group chat?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : That is correct  
**boku_no_piko** : should i leave you guys to it?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I’m sorry?  
**boku_no_piko** : i mean  
**boku_no_piko** : this is for your class, right?  
**boku_no_piko** : i dont want to intrude  
**GiganticOTN** : Being totally honest here and tell you that we dont do a lot of work  
**GiganticOTN** : Its usually just us talking instead of actually studying since Iroha and Miku arent… the best students  
**boku_no_piko** : i can see that about micchan  
**mikumikumii♪** : ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wOW RUDE  
**whatsnewpussycat** : EVEN IF THATS TOTALLY TRUE YOU DONT NEED TO SAY IT  
**GiganticOTN** : Shh. You love me anyway ;)  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ew  
**GiganticOTN** : I have no idea why theyre so mean to me  
**boku_no_piko** : maybe it’s because you look like a cheese stick  
**GiganticOTN** : Gasp  
**whatsnewpussycat** : oMFG  
**mikumikumii♪** : ｡ﾟ( ﾟ^∀^ﾟ)ﾟ｡  
**boku_no_piko** : sorry  
**GiganticOTN** : Pickle… I thought we had something…   
**boku_no_piko** : … excuse me?  
**GiganticOTN** : Get it? Since Piko sounds like Pickle?  
**boku_no_piko** : … excuse me for a second...

 _boku_no_piko’s nickname is now boku_no_pickle_  
  
**GiganticOTN** : HE LIKES IT  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Wow… Congratulations?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : omg  
**whatsnewpussycat** : lets keep him  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i love him already  
**mikumikumii♪** : i do too (*^^*)♡  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Iroha. He’s not a pet  
**GiganticOTN** : Kinky  
**mikumikumii♪** : snip snip ( ^▽^)っ✂⋃  
**whatsnewpussycat** : he can be  
**whatsnewpussycat** : my pet pickle  
**boku_no_pickle** : no thank you  
**whatsnewpussycat** : aww  
**GiganticOTN** : IM SORRY  
**GiganticOTN** : But guys  
**GiganticOTN** : Is everyone just ignoring that declaration of love or  
**boku_no_pickle** : it isn’t that deep, don’t worry  
**boku_no_pickle** : if you guys dont mind though…?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari✿❄** : I assure you that no one minds.  
**boku_no_pickle** : oh  
**boku_no_pickle** : ok  
**boku_no_pickle** : cool  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : We are missing a member after we just made a new group without Ars  
**boku_no_pickle** : okay so  
**boku_no_pickle** : is his name really ars  
**GiganticOTN** : It is  
**whatsnewpussycat** : which is why he’s such as asshole  
**mikumikumii♪** : i fought him bc he was being mean to everyone (งಠ_ಠ)งσ( •̀ ω •́ σ)  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : And then, Miku made a new group  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : We would really like to kick him out… but our teacher says we can’t  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : So until he apologizes to us, we’re going to politely refuse to talk to him unless it’s needed  
**whatsnewpussycat** : yeah yeah  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but now youre here  
**whatsnewpussycat** : WELCOME TO RFA!!  
**boku_no_pickle** : … mystic messenger?  
**GiganticOTN** : This place isnt called RFA  
**whatsnewpussycat** : nice you got the ref! and…

_whatsnewpussycat renamed Study group -1 to ITS THE FUCKING RFA, LEN_

**whatsnewpussycat** : now it is  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Iroha!  
**GiganticOTN** : The worst  
**GiganticOTN** : Plus we all know what the TRUE name should be  
**mikumikumii♪** : the meme team! (☆▽☆)  
**boku_no_pickle** : i’m 100% sure that’s not it  
**mikumikumii♪** : not 139%? (￣ε￣＠)  
**boku_no_pickle** : … 139%  
**mikumikumii♪** : (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ  
**GiganticOTN** : So will Yukari do the honors?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … Must I?  
**GiganticOTN** : Yea  
**whatsnewpussycat** : YES  
**mikumikumii♪** : yep! (￣▽￣)  
**boku_no_pickle** : i’ll just  
**boku_no_pickle** : agree with everyone  
**boku_no_pickle** : yeah  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … You win  
  
_❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ renamed ITS THE FUCKING RFA, LEN to ARS-FREE_  
  
**GiganticOTN** : NICE  
**mikumikumii♪** : yay! ＼(≧▽≦)／  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Welcome to Ars-Free, Piko  
**boku_no_pickle** : …   
**boku_no_pickle** : glad to be here


	2. "so like is ur otn gigantic or what lmao"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **whatsnewpussycat** : uh wtf is a longganisa  
>  **mikumikumii♪** : it’s a spanish sausage similar to chorizo and is popular in the countries of spain, chile, philippines, etc.  
>  **whatsnewpussycat** : ok  
>  **whatsnewpussycat** : how tf do you know that  
>  **mikumikumii♪** : it’s a secret!! (･ω <)~☆  
>  **whatsnewpussycat** : ????????
> 
> (alternatively: The Scooby Gang ponder about long, cylindrical objects. They regret it right afterwards.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ?????? here's the second chapter i guess
> 
> also i had no idea what to call this until i realized what len's username was so yeah
> 
> ty to everyone enjoying this!! i'm like actually surprised ppl are reading this since i initially wrote this as i was in a slump, but i'm glad people are liking this!! thank you so much ♡
> 
> key for all the usernames:  
> mikumikumii♪ - miku  
> boku_no_pickle - piko  
> GiganticOTN - len  
> ❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ - yukari  
> whatsnewpussycat - iroha  
> 牙音☪ - longya
> 
> as memeku would say, "enjoy!! ☆⌒(≧▽° )"

****_October 16, 2017_ _  
_ _3:03 AM_

_GiganticOTN sent a picture_

**boku_no_pickle** : remember when I said I was glad to be here? Yeah, I take that back  
**GiganticOTN** : FUCSNIXUSU  
**GiganticOTN** : UONNOOLLAPW  
**GiganticOTN** : IK AM SSSSSO SORTRTY  
**GiganticOTN** : O SWEASR IB DIDN NOTT M EWAN  TO SEND A DICKPIC HERRE  
**GiganticOTN** : I WASS FLKIRTING WITH A GIRL ANDF SHE WNTED PIICS SO BYEAH  
**GiganticOTN** : BUT IV CLICKED TGYHE WRONG CHAAT  
**GiganticOTN** : DONTG LOOK IM SORRYY  
**boku_no_pickle** : i  
**boku_no_pickle** : just  
**boku_no_pickle** : god  
**boku_no_pickle** : i’m leaving,,, tell micchan i’m sorry i couldn’t protect her  
  
_boku_no_pickle_ _has left_  
  
**GiganticOTN** : Oh my god  
**GiganticOTN** : I mean Im not ashamed of my dick pic because its good quality but still  
**GiganticOTN** : How do I get rid of this  
**GiganticOTN** : Im so sorry Longya… Miku… Yukari… Iroha…

_牙音☪ is now online_

**牙音☪** : Oh, hello, Len!  
**牙音☪** : I apologize for only being able to get on this at this hour, but… I see that you are having some fun? And with the new member, too.  
**牙音☪** : As Yukari has said before, exercise caution with explicit photographs!  
**GiganticOTN** : Longya… no  
**GiganticOTN** : Dont look  
**GiganticOTN** : Im proud of it but I dont think you want to see this  
**GiganticOTN** : And no Im not doing anything with the new member  
**牙音☪** : Ah. Well, I’m sure you wanted to send this to someone you are more… intimate with, so I understand.  
**牙音☪** : Rest assured, you live up to your username.  
**GiganticOTN** : … Thanks?  
**GiganticOTN** : It  
**GiganticOTN** : Means a lot to me??  
**牙音☪** : No, it’s my pleasure.  
**GiganticOTN** : … Anyway  
**GiganticOTN** : Do you know how to delete this from the chat  
**GiganticOTN** : I dont think the rest want to see my dick  
**GiganticOTN** : Especially Yukari  
**牙音☪** : Hm. Forgive me; I do not.  
**牙音☪** : Might I suggest asking the new member? Pickle, was it?  
**GiganticOTN** : … Thatd be smart  
**GiganticOTN** : And yeah his names Pickle  
**GiganticOTN** : Plus Miku wouldnt appreciate me killing her friend’s eyes imo  
**牙音☪** : Very well.  
  
_GiganticOTN added boku_no_pickle_  
  
**boku_no_pickle** : what the fuck  
**boku_no_pickle** : you heathen  
**GiganticOTN** : Ok, hi, hows it going?  
**boku_no_pickle** : i don’t like you anymore  
**GiganticOTN** : Yeah, its going well for me too  
**牙音☪** : My condolences, Pickle. But we are in need of your assistance.  
**boku_no_pickle** : oh  
**boku_no_pickle** : uh  
**牙音☪** : Excuse me, where are my manners? I am Yuezheng Longya. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Pickle.  
**boku_no_pickle** : oh,,  
**boku_no_pickle** : hi,,,  
**boku_no_pickle** : nice to meet you, i think. My name is piko, though, not pickle  
**boku_no_pickle** : but speaking of pickle,,,

_boku_no_pickle’s name is now boku_no_piko_

**boku_no_piko** : there  
**GiganticOTN** : But I thought you liked the name!  
**boku_no_piko** : i don’t want to think about long, cylindrical objects right now, thanks  
**GiganticOTN** : … So you think Im long??  
**boku_no_piko** : NO  
**boku_no_piko** : N O  
**boku_no_piko** : **N O**  
**GiganticOTN** : Ok ok! Was just asking  
**GiganticOTN** : For a friend  
**boku_no_piko** : uh huh  
**牙音☪** : Do you know how to delete messages and pictures in this chat?  
**boku_no_piko** : right click on message, click ‘delete message’, and you’re good  
**boku_no_piko** : wait. That’s why you added me back?  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, you could have just googled it  
**GiganticOTN** : Thanks so much… really  
**GiganticOTN** : And I couldve but wheres the fun in that!  
**boku_no_piko** : you can thank me by never sending any dick pics here again  
**GiganticOTN** : No promises ;))  
**boku_no_piko** : iM LEAVING  
**GiganticOTN** : I WAS JOKING DONT LEAVE  
**GiganticOTN** : MIKU MIGHT KILL ME AFTER FINDING OUT I SHOWED YOU MY DICK  
**牙音☪** : Oh, Len! You have it all wrong. She _will_ kill you when she finds out you displayed your privates for her best friend to see.  
**GiganticOTN** : Dude….. youre not helping……..  
**牙音☪** : My apologies, Len.  
**boku_no_piko** : you know you CAN just delete all of the messages. Not just your,,, picture, but messages like this. Right?  
**GiganticOTN** : OH  
**GiganticOTN** : I can… So much power  
**GiganticOTN** : But wait I cant delete your messages right?  
**boku_no_piko** : no,,,  
**GiganticOTN** : Okay well… can you do it? Please?  
**GiganticOTN** : Its best if the girls never know that this happened  
**牙音☪** : Because he would be murdered by the likes of Miku.  
**GiganticOTN** : Yeah basically  
**boku_no_piko** : as long as you don’t send any more of this in the chat?  
**GiganticOTN** : I promise on my heart  
**boku_no_piko** : ,, ok  
**boku_no_piko** : uh  
**boku_no_piko** : well  
**boku_no_piko** : guess i’ll  
**boku_no_piko** : go delete them now  
**牙音☪** : Should I delete my messages as well?  
**GiganticOTN** : YES  
**GiganticOTN** : Omg  
**GiganticOTN** : Thank you guys really  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s nothing,,,  
**牙音☪** : You’re welcome.  
**GiganticOTN** :  <3  
**GiganticOTN** : OH  
**GiganticOTN** : So I know this is terrible timing because I sent a dick pic here but  
**boku_no_piko** : oh god  
**GiganticOTN** : It inspired me?? Kinda?  
**GiganticOTN** : I have the perfect nickname for Longya now  
**boku_no_piko** : no  
**牙音☪** : I’m excited as to what you came up with, Len. I know you’ve been struggling to find a nickname for me for a while now.  
**GiganticOTN** : Its Longganisa  
**boku_no_piko** : ?  
**牙音☪** : I’m unfamiliar with the term. What is it, if I might ask?  
**GiganticOTN** : Its basically a Spanish sausage thats like chorizo  
**GiganticOTN** : Idk but I had it today because I was eating Filipino food and it was like  
**GiganticOTN** : Good shit  
**boku_no_piko** : i’m disturbed that you thought of that while looking at your dick,,,  
**牙音☪** : I’m sure it tastes fantastic. I have been meaning to explore other cultures through their foods… Please, feel free to call me Longganisa.  
**GiganticOTN** : Alright cool  
**boku_no_piko** : he accepted the nickname quickly  
**GiganticOTN** : You accepted Pickle easily before!  
**boku_no_piko** : that was pre-dickpic era, len  
**boku_no_piko** : you’ve lost your privileges  
**GiganticOTN** : Damn it  
**boku_no_piko** : but anyway  
**boku_no_piko** : i deleted the last of the messages that showed any of the,,, events  
**牙音☪** : As did I.  
**boku_no_piko** : so i think it’s time to sleep after having the worst night ever  
**牙音☪** : Oh, Piko, don’t you mean the WURST night ever? :)  
  
_boku_no_piko is now offline_

* * *

 _October 16, 2017  
_ _10:27 AM_

 **whatsnewpussycat** : touches soil  
**whatsnewpussycat** : something terrible happened here  
**mikumikumii♪** : rise and shiiiiine, iroha~! (o´▽`o)ﾉ  
**whatsnewpussycat** : rising and shining mikumiku o7  
**whatsnewpussycat** : …..but like actually tho  
**whatsnewpussycat** : why are all the messages deleted??  
**whatsnewpussycat** : why is longya up at 3 again?????  
**whatsnewpussycat** : why did pickle change his name back????  
**mikumikumii♪** : it is a mystery ～～(m´ρ`)m  
**whatsnewpussycat** : also im calling it but len either sent a dick pic OR that pic of himself in a banana suit when he was like 10  
**whatsnewpussycat** : if its the dick pic then he was probably like “do you like my gigantic otn ;))))”  
**whatsnewpussycat** : BUT i hope its the banana suit pic bc i dont want to think about len’s schlong

_whatsnewpussycat sent a picture_

**whatsnewpussycat** : banana boi 5ever  
**mikumikumii♪** : aww! he looks so cute~! (*´▽`*)  
**GiganticOTN** : Why do you still have this picture  
**GiganticOTN** : “Banana boi” does not approve  
**whatsnewpussycat** : dont care  
**GiganticOTN** : :/  
**whatsnewpussycat** : spill tho  
**whatsnewpussycat** : what the fuck happened last night????????  
**whatsnewpussycat** : all ur guys messages are deleted  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i didnt even know you could delete shit  
**GiganticOTN** : I didnt either

 _boku_no_piko is now online_  
  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s good i taught him. Probably  
**mikumikumii♪** : hi pikkun!! (* ^ ω ^)  
**boku_no_piko** : hey, micchan  
**boku_no_piko** : and everyone else too  
**mikumikumii♪** : you’re awake really early today!!  
**GiganticOTN** : Well why wouldnt he be?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : yeah like doesnt he have hell (read: school) like the rest of us  
**boku_no_piko** : oh  
**boku_no_piko** : uh  
**mikumikumii♪** : welll… (＾＾;;)  
**mikumikumii♪** : idk if he’d be ok with telling you guys (＾＾;;;)  
**GiganticOTN** : Wait ok  
**GiganticOTN** : You know you dont need to tell us if itll make you uncomfortable  
**GiganticOTN** : We can mind our business so yeah  
**GiganticOTN** : Sorry for putting you on the spot like that  
**boku_no_piko** : no no no. It’s fine  
**boku_no_piko** : i just  
**boku_no_piko** : i got bullied a lot in my old school. I thought taking online classes was the best option  
**GiganticOTN** : Oh wow man  
**whatsnewpussycat** : yikes  
**GiganticOTN** : Im so sorry you went through that  
**whatsnewpussycat** : yeah really  
**whatsnewpussycat** : school is nasty  
**mikumikumii♪** : pikkun is strong (つω〒｡)  
**GiganticOTN** : Yeah he is  
**boku_no_piko** : i uh,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : thank you  
**whatsnewpussycat** : dONT THANK US  
**whatsnewpussycat** : youre one of us so you can count on us  
**mikumikumii♪** : i’ll fight anyone for you pikkun! (ง •̀_•́)ง  
**GiganticOTN** : Exactly  
**GiganticOTN** : Ill beat up Iroha when she starts bullying you  
**whatsnewpussycat** : RUDE  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i didnt come here for this disrespect kagamine  
**GiganticOTN** : I didnt come here for a picture of me in a banana suit costume  
**mikumikumii♪** : i did! its a good pic (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b  
**boku_no_piko** : you dont look half bad as a banana, len  
**GiganticOTN** : Banana boi is dead  
**GiganticOTN** : Leave him be  
**whatsnewpussycat** : orrrr  
**whatsnewpussycat** : IT CAN BE THE RETURN OF BANANA BOI THIS HALLOWEEN  
**whatsnewpussycat** : COMING TO YOU SOON IN THEATERS NEAR YOU  
**GiganticOTN** : Never  
**GiganticOTN** : Not happening  
**boku_no_piko** : wait  
**boku_no_piko** : micchan?  
**mikumikumii♪** : (・・ ) ?  
**boku_no_piko** : i thought i should tell you in private, but i think telling you this here is fine  
**whatsnewpussycat** : OOOOOOOOOOH  
**whatsnewpussycat** : IS IT  
**whatsnewpussycat** : LOVE CONFESSION TIME  
**whatsnewpussycat** : THIS MORNING IS SPICY  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and too emotional wtf but anyway  
**GiganticOTN** : LAY ON THE MOVES PIKO  
**boku_no_piko** : NO  
**boku_no_piko** : THAT IS NOT WHAT IM DOING  
**whatsnewpussycat** : :c  
**GiganticOTN** : :(  
**boku_no_piko** : what i _wanted_ to say was, since the topic of me not going to school popped up, was that i  
**boku_no_piko** : uh  
**boku_no_piko** : might be moving back  
**boku_no_piko** : to  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,,,,your town  
**mikumikumii♪** : REALLY? ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ  
**boku_no_piko** : and i’ll probably go back to school. Like, the ones with gum under the desk and not online classes  
**whatsnewpussycat** : OH MY SHIT  
**GiganticOTN** : HOLY FUCK  
**whatsnewpussycat** : HE CAN JOIN OUR SQUAD PHYSICALLY NOW  
**whatsnewpussycat** : LIKE I KNOW HES BEEN HERE FOR A DAY BUT STILL  
**GiganticOTN** : Are you fine with hanging out with all of us?  
**GiganticOTN** : No pressure but well give you your space if you want it  
**boku_no_piko** : no!  
**boku_no_piko** : i mean  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s the reason why i told all of you instead of just micchan. I was,,, hoping we could be irl friends as well as online ones  
**boku_no_piko** : even if we didn’t, it’s nice to know i know someone other than micchan there  
**GiganticOTN** : Youre totally welcome to join us man  
**mikumikumii♪** : there’s always space for you, pikkun (*˘︶˘*)  
**whatsnewpussycat** : im literally so pumped ur gonna be here  
**whatsnewpussycat** : altho this sounds TOO convenient  
**GiganticOTN** : This is the plot convenience obviously Iroha  
**whatsnewpussycat** : you right you right  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but anyway  
**whatsnewpussycat** : were gonna have a kick ass time  
**whatsnewpussycat** : with yukariss parental supervision ofc

_❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ is now online_

**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I DID NOT WAKE UP ON TIME!  
**mikumikumii♪** : speak of the devil~ ( ˘⌣˘)ノ  
**mikumikumii♪** : good morning, yukari!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : It would have been a good morning if I woke up on time!  
**whatsnewpussycat** : smh  
**whatsnewpussycat** : you need like  
**whatsnewpussycat** : 30 alarm clocks  
**GiganticOTN** : Thats an ALARMing amount dont you think  
**boku_no_piko** : no  
**whatsnewpussycat** : GOOD SHIT KAGAMINE  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Your humor astounds me, Len  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I only wish I was not so… tired all the time. Then, I could actually get to school properly. Maybe read a novel.  
**boku_no_piko** : do you stay up late?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : yukari is just sleep deprived 24/7  
**whatsnewpussycat** : she pretends to be the mature one but then you can catch her sleeping with a literal pillow and blanket during class  
**whatsnewpussycat** : sometimes youll see her with her bunny plushie if ur lucky  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I DO NOT DO SUCH THINGS!  
**whatsnewpussycat** : aww someone is embarrassed  
**mikumikumii♪** : yukari is probably blushing like this → (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I am not!  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : But I’m afraid for today… I’ll have to do the walk of shame to class…  
**GiganticOTN** : Its okay. Its what Iroha does everytime someone catches her with yugioh cards  
**whatsnewpussycat** : DRXYTYVIUOB  
**whatsnewpussycat**  : CFTUYG2IBHOINDPOW  
**whatsnewpussycat** : S T O P  
**GiganticOTN** : Lol  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wait wAIT WAIT  
**boku_no_piko** : waiting  
**whatsnewpussycat** : shush smartass  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wHEN DID THIS BECOME ABOUT EMBARRASSING ME  
**whatsnewpussycat** : I THOUGHT WE WERE EMBARRASSING YUKARI  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I do not recall…  
**mikumikumii♪** : www (*/▽＼*)  
**whatsnewpussycat** : WOW  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Since you are so eager for us to stop teasing you, I believe we can change topics  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ……………  
**boku_no_piko** : top10animebetrayals.jpeg  
**whatsnewpussycat** : OH MY GOD  
**mikumikumii♪** : WWW (*/▽＼*)゜゜。  
**GiganticOTN** : Hes a way better addition than Ars was omg  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Where _is_ Longya? I have yet to see him online today. Wouldn’t he usually be on at this hour even if he has class?  
**GiganticOTN** : That  
**GiganticOTN** : Thats actually true  
**mikumikumii♪** : the disappearance of yuezheng longya (｡•́︿•̀｡)  
  
_Longganisa☪ is now online_  
  
**Longganisa☪** : Good morning, everyone. How does everyone fair? It seems like this morning has been quite an exciting one!  
**boku_no_piko** : WHY  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ?? uh  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Longya? Is that you?  
**Longganisa☪** : It is.  
**GiganticOTN** : YOU LIKE THE NAME  
**GiganticOTN** : HE LIKES THE NAME  
**whatsnewpussycat** : uh wtf is a longganisa  
**mikumikumii♪** : it’s a spanish sausage similar to chorizo and is popular in the countries of spain, chile, philippines, etc.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ok  
**whatsnewpussycat** : how tf do you know that  
**mikumikumii♪** : it’s a secret!! (･ω <)~☆  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ????????  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Why did you change your name? You’ve had your old name since you created that account. Why the change?  
**Longganisa☪** : Hmm…  
**Longganisa☪** : I suppose I could be FRANK with you, Yukari.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : …  
**whatsnewpussycat** : oMFG

 _boku_no_piko is now offline_  
  
**whatsnewpussycat** : OH MY FUKCIN GOD  
**whatsnewpussycat** : YOU KILLED PIKO  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I can’t tell if I approve or disapprove of these puns  
**mikumikumii♪** : they’re a-ok in my book! ( o˘◡˘o)b  
**GiganticOTN** : Whats your book  
**mikumikumii♪** : the adventures of hatsune miku by miku twain  
**GiganticOTN** : Ill get it on Amazon later  
**mikumikumii♪** : i appreciate your support! (˘▽˘)  
**Longganisa☪** : It seems that Piko has left for now, but I’m sure he’ll come back when he’s ready. He’ll have to KETCHUP with us later, until then.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : …  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I decided I don’t like them.  
  
_❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ is now offline_  
  
**GiganticOTN** : No offense man but  
**GiganticOTN** : That one was a little weak sorry  
**Longganisa☪** : :/  
**GiganticOTN** : :/  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (beta: homeboy [fifi](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3401399/FiniteXS))
> 
> ((also sorry to loneliest baby! i swear the tea will spill soon!!))
> 
> (((btw i searched up sausage puns for longya so yall are welcome)))


	3. spilling the kaomoji—i mean, tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **mikumikumii♪** : wanna hug to make you feel better? ⊂(*¯︶¯*⊂)  
>  **boku_no_piko** : yes  
>  **boku_no_piko** : (つ . •́ _ʖ •̀ .)つ  
>  **mikumikumii♪** : … oh… um… nevermind…  
>  **boku_no_piko** : (つ . ╯ _ʖ ╰ .)つ
> 
> (alternatively: Piko wants to know the truth about The Ass Guy, but Miku decides to be a little shit and send him on a wild goose chase instead.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy bday, miku... love of my life, shining moon in the sky, best girl of the century—
> 
> ... anyway, this is for loneliest baby bc they wanted to know what happened to ars. tea? considered it spilt
> 
> edit 9/1/17: made some changes but nothing really major
> 
> edit 11/18/17: changed homecoming to culture festival since this is gonna dictate chapter 6 and 7
> 
> key for all the usernames:  
> mikumikumii♪ - miku  
> boku_no_pickle - piko  
> GiganticOTN - len  
> ❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ - yukari  
> whatsnewpussycat - iroha  
> Longganisa☪ - longya
> 
> 'micchan' would want you to enjoy this, so with that, enjoy!

****_October 19th_ _  
_ _10:21 PM_  
  
_You have (2) notifications from boku_no_piko_

 **boku_no_piko** : micchan?  
**boku_no_piko** : are you busy right now?  
**mikumikumii♪** : it depends… i’m not if you do the thing! ☆ ～('▽^人)  
**boku_no_piko** : the  
**boku_no_piko** : THAT thing?  
**mikumikumii♪** : yes~? ☆ ～('▽^人)  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,,,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : micchan now! Micchan now! Micchan, micchan, micchan now!  
**mikumikumii♪** : ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆  
**boku_no_piko** : i can’t believe you still like this song. It’s been a while since I even listened to it,,,  
**mikumikumii♪** : it’s a masterpiece pikkun! (`皿´＃)  
**boku_no_piko** : you say the same thing to like every bad song  
**boku_no_piko** : like those love live songs you listen to almost everyday  
**mikumikumii♪** : because that’s the music of our generation! (๑･`▱´･๑)  
**mikumikumii♪** : and no you can’t say mcr was that bc it wasn’t (￣ヘ￣)  
**boku_no_piko** : i'm hurt  
**mikumikumii♪** : wanna hug to make you feel better? ⊂(*¯︶¯*⊂)  
**boku_no_piko** : yes  
**boku_no_piko** : (つ . •́ _ʖ •̀ .)つ  
**mikumikumii♪** : … oh… um… nevermind…  
**boku_no_piko** : (つ . ╯ _ʖ ╰ .)つ  
**boku_no_piko** : good job. You made the kaomoji sad  
**mikumikumii♪** : to be fair… mr. kaomoji looks pretty ugly (^⌣^;)  
**boku_no_piko** : you monster  
**boku_no_piko** : but hey, surprisingly I’m not here to get insulted by my poor choice in kaomojis  
**mikumikumii♪** : are you saying you didn’t talk to me so you can finally take up on the private lessons in kaomoji i offered? (ﾉД`)  
**boku_no_piko** : i promise I’ll take them some other time  
**boku_no_piko** : i just realized that you never fully told me what happened with the ass guy. You don’t usually get mad without reason, and it’s, uh,,, kind of frightening when you do  
**mikumikumii♪** : oh! hmm… i’m too lazy to tell you _(:3 」∠)_  
**boku_no_piko** : what? Just tell me already  
**mikumikumii♪** : it’s a long story, pikkun… (￣ω￣; )  
**boku_no_piko** : it can’t be that long  
**mikumikumii♪** : it is (￣ω￣;; )  
**mikumikumii♪** : ah! how about asking someone in the group? (*'▽'*)  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,,you just want me to talk to them more. Right?  
**mikumikumii♪** : ( ˘ ɜ˘) ♬♪♫  
**boku_no_piko** : micchan  
**mikumikumii♪** : pikkun  
**boku_no_piko** : …  
**mikumikumii♪** : …  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, fine. Only because of you  
**mikumikumii♪** : you’re the best pikkun! ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)  
**mikumikumii♪** : and you know you like them~ (o´▽`o)  
**boku_no_piko** : don’t know what you’re talking about, micchan  
**mikumikumii♪** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**boku_no_piko** : stop that  
**mikumikumii♪** : ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

* * *

_October 19th  
_ _10:35 PM_ _  
_ _  
_ _You have (5) notifications from boku_no_piko_  
  
**boku_no_piko** : hey  
**boku_no_piko** : wait  
**boku_no_piko** : you’re not online,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : uh  
**boku_no_piko** : nvm just ignore this  
**boku_no_piko** : sorry

* * *

_October 19th  
_ _10:57 PM_ _  
_ _  
_ _You have (1) notifications from boku_no_piko_  
  
**boku_no_piko** : longya?  
**Longganisa☪** : Good evening, Piko. How do you fair?  
**boku_no_piko** : i,,, uh,,,, fair well?  
**boku_no_piko** : how are you?  
**Longganisa☪** : I am a bit fatigued. After looking over some statistics and reading through paperwork, I could use a nap. It would be best if I don’t end up sleep deprived like Yukari…  
**boku_no_piko** : homework, I’m guessing? It’s tiring. I finished a paper an hour ago since i’ve been procrastinating all this time  
**Longganisa☪** : Oh, no. It’s actually for work.  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, oh. I didn’t know your job was so demanding.  
**Longganisa☪** : Aha, well, being the heir to the Yuezheng Corporation has some perks. For example, I get to ride a limo to school. It catches the eyes of others quite easily.  
**boku_no_piko** : wAIT  
**boku_no_piko** : WHAT  
**Longganisa☪** : Is there a problem?  
**boku_no_piko** : nnnno  
**boku_no_piko** : uh  
**boku_no_piko** : i,,, it just didn’t click. That you were the heir  
**boku_no_piko** : even when you told me your last name,,,  
**Longganisa☪** : Please, feel free to address me the same as before. Just because I’m the son of a corporate owner doesn’t mean you should put me on a pedestal. I appreciate this camaraderie between us!  
**boku_no_piko** : oh,,, right, okay   
**boku_no_piko** : the others know this. Right?  
**Longganisa☪** : Of course. When they found out, they were all shocked someone like me would attend public school. But, I think I prefer this school than any private school I’ve been to. It feels more… relaxed. Not the workload but the people. It’s quite a wonderful thing to experience.  
**boku_no_piko** : i,,, see  
**Longganisa☪** : Miku wasn’t that surprised upon finding out my identity, but everyone else was flabbergasted, especially Iroha. Her eyes almost looked like they would just fall out! And Len asked if I had a cute secretary…  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, do you?  
**Longganisa☪** : I didn’t take you for a flirt, Piko!  
**boku_no_piko** : NO  
**boku_no_piko** : i meant,,, do you actually have a secretary?  
**Longganisa☪** : A very cute one. But not Len’s type.  
**boku_no_piko** : how are you so sure?  
**Longganisa☪** : I’m unsure if Len fancies men.  
**boku_no_piko** : oh  
**Longganisa☪** : And I prefer if there was no competition to my secretary’s heart.  
**boku_no_piko** : oh  
**boku_no_piko** : **OH**  
**Longganisa☪** : ;)  
**Longganisa☪** : You’ll keep this a secret, won’t you?  
**boku_no_piko** : yeah  
**boku_no_piko** : i just  
**Longganisa☪** : Wasn’t expecting this? Don’t worry; it’s a response I get to the few people I tell. But thank you for your secrecy.  
**boku_no_piko** : does your group know?  
**Longganisa☪** : Only Miku and Yukari. I told Yukari in a passing conversation, but Miku found out on her own. No matter, I hope to be able to introduce him to you all.  
**boku_no_piko** : ah, okay  
**boku_no_piko** : i’ll look forward to it  
**boku_no_piko** : and micchan is like that,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : but speaking of her,,,,  
**Longganisa☪** : Ah, yes. I assume you wanted to ask me something?  
**boku_no_piko** : yes. I wanted the full story on,,, the ass guy. The only things i know are that micchan supposedly fought him,,, and that he’s an ass  
**Longganisa☪** : … Forgive me; I cannot tell the whole story in great detail. All of us have a reason why we dislike him, but I don’t know much but my own. My reason for not liking him was because he treated everyone with a lack of respect.  
**boku_no_piko** : that’s fine. I was just curious, to be honest  
**boku_no_piko** : sorry for butting in  
**boku_no_piko** : and yeah, i can see why people wouldn’t like him  
**Longganisa☪** : You don’t need to apologize. I can see why you’re so curious. Your ‘Micchan’ doesn’t try to fight anyone on purpose…  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, when you say she’s MINE, it sounds kind of,,,,  
**Longganisa☪** : What are you exactly implying, Piko?  
**boku_no_piko** : nnnnothing  
**Longganisa☪** : I’m sure… :)  
**boku_no_piko** : a smiley face never made me so uneasy  
**Longganisa☪** : I assure you that there’s no reason to feel at unease. But if you are still curious about Ars, you could ask Yukari.  
**boku_no_piko** : yukari?  
**Longganisa☪** : Yes. I remember for an extended amount of time, Ars kept bugging Yukari until she shooed him off. I’ve never seen her so irritated before, but then again, he kept disturbing her in class naps.  
**boku_no_piko** : i can understand why. But thanks  
**boku_no_piko** : i’m going to head off and ask her. I’ll talk to you soon?  
**Longganisa☪** : Yes. I lost track of time… I need to prepare for an important tennis match tomorrow.  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, you play tennis?  
**Longganisa☪** : Not professionally! I’m only playing since it’s a charity event for skin cancer. I’ll be playing with some music idols and it is for a good cause, so I’ll try to enjoy myself.  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, wow  
**boku_no_piko** : sounds  
**boku_no_piko** : uh  
**boku_no_piko** : tough?  
**Longganisa☪** : Not at all! Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.  
**boku_no_piko** : …………  
**Longganisa☪** : :)  
**boku_no_piko** : ,, bye, longya  
**Longganisa☪** : Goodbye, Piko!

* * *

_October 19th  
_ _11:14 PM_

 _You have (2) notifications from boku_no_piko_  
  
**boku_no_piko** : yukari?  
**boku_no_piko** : are you asleep?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I am sadly not.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … Sorry. That sounds rude. I would love to be sleeping, but I have a lot of work to do, and I already took a nap today  
**boku_no_piko** : by work,,, don’t tell me you’re the heir to some massive company too  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Ha, surely not! Did you find out that Longya was the heir to the Yuezheng Corporation?  
**boku_no_piko** : yeah,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : i was kind of surprised  
**boku_no_piko** : it suits him, though  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : It does, despite his silliness.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : The Student Council keeps me busy enough. I couldn’t imagine the responsibility of having to run a company in the future.  
**boku_no_piko** : you’re in the student council?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I _am_ the Student Council. Kind of  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I’m the Student Council president, which is a bit strange since I’m not that popular. The majority of the Student Council are chosen by popularity, however, and only half work hard.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … It’s troubling. I’m grateful for the ones that work, but I almost wish I had the power to choose the members myself. It would certainly help with the upcoming culture festival…  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to rant. What did you need?  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s fine. I can see that you’re stressed,,  
**boku_no_piko** : i don’t know a lot about being the student council, but I think you’ll be able to pull through, yukari  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, though it sounds ignorant of me to say that, now that i think about it.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Not at all!  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Thank you for your encouraging words, Piko. I’m glad Miku accidentally added you to our little group.  
**boku_no_piko** : i’m glad too  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s nice. Talking to different kinds of people  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : It yields for new experiences  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Did you message me for something, though? Sorry if that sounds rude, but I have a feeling you did  
**boku_no_piko** : actually, yeah  
**boku_no_piko** : i was curious as to why the ass guy,,, ars got kicked out. Longya said it was for different reasons, but he told me if I wanted more of the story, i should ask you  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Me?  
**boku_no_piko** : he was saying how ars kept on following you around  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : It wasn’t a fun experience. He kept on interfering with my Student Council work.  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, longya said ars was interrupting your naps  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … That too  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Ars was a lot to handle. For three weeks straight, he kept asking for Iroha’s number.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I thought it was for studying at first, but that didn’t make sense because we were already in the same group chat with him on Skype. Why didn’t he ask Iroha himself? Something felt off… so I didn’t give it to him.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : He kept on insisting, though. I eventually asked why he didn’t ask Iroha herself  
**boku_no_piko** : and?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : He said he was embarrassed.  
**boku_no_piko** : that’s uh,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : lame  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I agree. Cute, maybe, if it wasn’t Ars.  
**boku_no_piko** : so what happened next?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Well… I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you the rest. Iroha still thinks it as something half traumatizing.  
**boku_no_piko** : oh,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : should i not ask her then?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : No, ask. It was half traumatizing, but the other part was what Iroha called… “half Tumblr shitpost”  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, i wonder if i should be afraid  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : You shouldn’t. Probably  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Anyway, I’m sorry I have to cut our conversation short. The Vice President is calling me, and I have to take this  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s fine  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : It was nice talking to you, though. Until next time! Bye, Piko  
**boku_no_piko** : bye, yukari

* * *

_October 19th_ _  
_ _11:40 PM_

 _You have (2) notifications from boku_no_piko  
  
_ **boku_no_piko** : hey, iroha?  
**boku_no_piko** : i was wondering if I could ask you something  
**whatsnewpussycat** : nya?  
**boku_no_piko** : nnnnevermind  
**whatsnewpussycat** : lolol sorry  
**whatsnewpussycat** : needed to mess with you for a sec  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i only nya ironically so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hows my fav pickle  
**boku_no_piko** : i graduated from being a pickle  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, and does that mean you have a second favorite pickle  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ya  
  
_whatsnewpussycat sent an image_  
  
**boku_no_piko** : what the fuck  
**whatsnewpussycat** : meet goliath the great pickle  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hes my fav veggietales chara  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i stan for him  
**boku_no_piko** : why does he have boxing gloves???  
**whatsnewpussycat** : because he can dont judge  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i fully support his career choice  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, so you watch veggietales?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : oh god no  
**whatsnewpussycat** : only if i have to  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i have nephews and they have shit taste  
**whatsnewpussycat** : well like most kid shows for 6 yr olds are shit???  
**whatsnewpussycat** : like peppa the pig can eat my ass  
**boku_no_piko** : peppa the pig wouldn’t appreciate that  
**whatsnewpussycat** : pEPPA THE PIG CAN  
**whatsnewpussycat** : EAT  
**whatsnewpussycat** : MY  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ASS  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,,,, anyway  
**boku_no_piko** : i have a question  
**whatsnewpussycat** : shoot  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wait  
**whatsnewpussycat** : is it abt ass  
**boku_no_piko** : actually, yes?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : GASP  
**whatsnewpussycat** : or should i say GASSP lmao am i right  >;3  
**boku_no_piko** : i think longya has better puns than you  
**whatsnewpussycat** :  >:,3  
**whatsnewpussycat** : thats cold dude  
**whatsnewpussycat** : cold  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but ok lets talk abt ass  
**boku_no_piko** : uh  
**boku_no_piko** : wait  
**whatsnewpussycat** : allura’s ass?? best in the voltron show  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, you watch voltron?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hell yeah i do  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, opinions on season 3?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wish it was actually a lance season like they promised ://  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but hey allura looks great in her pink suit  
**boku_no_piko** : good, yes, I approve  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, wait  
**boku_no_piko** : we’re getting off topic  
**boku_no_piko** : i wanted to talk about ars  
**whatsnewpussycat** : bxepcnpo  
**whatsnewpussycat** : csyeuwbhicoe  
**whatsnewpussycat** : :(((  
**whatsnewpussycat** : what do you wanna know about the ars hole  
**boku_no_piko** : well,,, what happened with him?  
**boku_no_piko** : yukari told me he kept asking you for your phone number and got really mad because he was interrupting her student council work/naps  
**boku_no_piko** : and now that I think about it, micchan just sent me on some goose chase so I could find out the whole story, even though I’m 139% positive she knows wtf was up with ars  
**whatsnewpussycat** : 139% huh?  
**boku_no_piko** : it’s a habit  
**whatsnewpussycat** : nice  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but kk ill tell ya  
**whatsnewpussycat** : like warning tho  
**whatsnewpussycat** : its gonna be a LONG story  
**whatsnewpussycat** : like buckle up boy  
**boku_no_piko** : i’m buckled  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ok so  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ars has/had (?????) a crush on me  
**boku_no_piko** : i figured  
**whatsnewpussycat** : YA so thats prob why he kept on asking yukari for my digits but like  
**whatsnewpussycat** : he was a grade A fuckboi  
**whatsnewpussycat** : felt it in my bones  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so when he finally got the courage to ask for my number i TOLD THAT MOTHER FUCKER  
**whatsnewpussycat** : “im sorry but can we just talk on skype instead?? it freaks me out a little that you were so insistent on getting my number from yukari”  
**whatsnewpussycat** : bc like im not THAT rude  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but ars was very :((( bc i didnt want to give him my number so he could prob send me pics of his personal hot dog  
**boku_no_piko** : ugh  
**boku_no_piko** : gross, iroha  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hey!! not like you saw any man meat recently so shush  
**whatsnewpussycat** : aNYWAY  
**boku_no_piko** : anyway  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ars was very sad bc i didnt wanna see his ding a ling and i didnt MEAN to ignore him  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but?? it kinda just??? happened????  
**whatsnewpussycat** : my bad but ya know the most reasonable thing to do if someone is ignoring you is like  
**whatsnewpussycat** : idk FACE them  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but ars was like “no fuck that” and went through my backpack  
**boku_no_piko** : uh,,  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i think he wanted to pretend he had some item of mine so he could be like “ah milady you dropped this and i thought it would be proper of me to return it ;))))” but he had none of my shit??  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so he stole stuff when no one was looking???  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but guess what  
**boku_no_piko** : what  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i IMMEDIATELY noticed that it was gone  
**whatsnewpussycat** : bc that it  
**whatsnewpussycat** : was  
**whatsnewpussycat** : my box  
**whatsnewpussycat**  : of hello kitty tampons  
**boku_no_piko** : oh god  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i got my period that day too??? so uh yeah id notice if my fucking tampons were gone  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i sorta knew that ars would do it bc hes an asshole but my tampons????? reALLLY  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so i faced him and asked for my tampons back  
**whatsnewpussycat** : in the sweetest way possible  
**whatsnewpussycat** : which was “give me my FUCKING tampons back”  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and then…  
**boku_no_piko** : then?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : … TO BE CONTINUED  
**whatsnewpussycat** : :3c  
**boku_no_piko** : are you seriously leaving me on a cliffhanger  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ya  
**whatsnewpussycat** : didnt you say you were on some goose chase??  
**whatsnewpussycat** : chase that goose to the last person man  
**boku_no_piko** : ……  
**whatsnewpussycat** : whod you talk to so far  
**boku_no_piko** : uh,,  
**boku_no_piko** : micchan → longya → yukari → you  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so banana boy is last?  
**boku_no_piko** : i already tried messaging him, but he didn’t respond  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hes prob gettin laid  
**whatsnewpussycat** : BUT im sure hell text back when he can  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so ya  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, you sure you don’t want to tell me the end of the ars story?  
**whatsnewpussycat** :  >:3c  
**boku_no_piko** : i’ll take that as a no

* * *

_October 20th_ _  
_ _3:21 AM_

 _You have (4) notifications from GiganticOTN_  
  
**GiganticOTN** : Hey! Sorry Im really really late  
**GiganticOTN** : I was… kinda busy and then I lost my phone  
**GiganticOTN** : Iroha said you needed me tho and here I am!  
**GiganticOTN** : Better late than never right?  
**boku_no_piko** : i suppose  
**GiganticOTN** : Damn  
**GiganticOTN** : But you needed me for something?  
**boku_no_piko** : yes  
**boku_no_piko** : micchan sent me on some scavenger hunt to find out about what happened to ars since she wouldn’t tell me, even though she knew the whole story  
**boku_no_piko** : i first went to you, but you were offline. Then I went to longya, yukari, and iroha  
**boku_no_piko** : iroha left off at the part where she started swearing at ars to give her tampons back, and then she told me to wait for you tell me the ending of the story  
**boku_no_piko** : me not knowing the ending to this makes me unable to sleep for some reason,,,  
**boku_no_piko**  : ,,, so please tell me  
**GiganticOTN** : I got you  
**GiganticOTN** : Ready for the finale?  
**boku_no_piko** : ready as i’ll ever be  
**GiganticOTN** : Okay  
**GiganticOTN** : Once upon a time there lived an asshole named Ars…  
**boku_no_piko** : LEN  
**boku_no_piko** : DONT BE A SHIT AND TELL ME THE STORY  
**GiganticOTN** : Sorry sorry one bedtime story coming up  
**GiganticOTN** : Ok so  
**GiganticOTN** : After Iroha screamed that she wanted her tampons back Ars denied that he ever stole them even tho he was holding the box of tampons behind his back  
**GiganticOTN** : Miku then went behind him and kneed his legs to get the box of tampons for Iroha  
**GiganticOTN** : He flopped over harder than Netflix’s Death Note lmao but when he got up it looked like he was gonna hit Miku  
**GiganticOTN** : So _I_ kneed him from behind and sat on him before he could do anything else  
**GiganticOTN** : Miku sat on him too and gave his legs a good slap before any teachers came  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, did you guys get into trouble?  
**GiganticOTN** : Luckily no since we didnt use any violence even tho technically we were pinning him to the ground. Im sure an actual fight would have been cool but I dont want to cause my mom any trouble  
**GiganticOTN** : Ars tho? Three days of suspension  
**GiganticOTN** : We dont talk to him anymore even tho he’s supposedly in our study group. But the thing is is that he hadn’t said ONE sorry to Iroha  
**GiganticOTN** : So we leave him be but besides that were all good  
**GiganticOTN** : Iroha has her tampons back, Miku can say she got into her first fight ever even tho she really didnt, and life is peaceful  
**boku_no_piko** : wow  
**boku_no_piko** : this story was a journey. Literally  
**GiganticOTN** : Glad you liked it  
**boku_no_piko** : it was fun, I have to admit. Better than those conspiracy theories where the whole story turns out to be a coma-induced dream  
**GiganticOTN** : Or the ones where the main character has been hallucinating the people around them all this time and theyre actually either dead or never existed at all?  
**boku_no_piko** : you have the idea  
**boku_no_piko** : but thanks for telling me  
**boku_no_piko** : finally, i can sleep peacefully  
**boku_no_piko** : i’ll be logging off  
**boku_no_piko** : i’ll catch you when im not dying from lack of sleep  
**GiganticOTN** : Wait!  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, i’m waiting  
**GiganticOTN** : So you messaged me first?  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, technically, i messaged micchan first  
**boku_no_piko** : but yes, I messaged you before anyone else minus micchan. Why ask?  
**GiganticOTN** : No reason  
**boku_no_piko** : you’re just  
**boku_no_piko** : you were the most comfortable to talk to? I guess?  
**GiganticOTN** : Aww!  
**boku_no_piko** : stfu   
**GiganticOTN** : :(  
**boku_no_piko** : i need to sleep. Badly  
**boku_no_piko** : and I’ve been up because i really wanted to hear the end of the ars story  
**boku_no_piko** : moral of the story: ars lives up to his name  
**GiganticOTN** : Ok ok. Get that bed Piko  
**boku_no_piko** : i’m getting that bed  
**GiganticOTN** : After this one TINY thing I swear  
**boku_no_piko** : ………  
**GiganticOTN** : It looks like everything worked out in the end right?  
**GiganticOTN** : That you ended up saving the best for last!  
**boku_no_piko** : ……………  
**boku_no_piko** : we’ll see, len  
  
_boku_no_piko is now offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [beta's](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3401399/FiniteXS) notes after reading longya's section: i will sue longya’s corporation somehow
> 
> ¯\\_(・∀・)_/¯¯\\_(・∀・)_/¯¯\\_(・∀・)_/¯


	4. the spoopy disappearance of utatane piko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **GiganticOTN** : Cheesecake can jiggle?  
>  **mikumikumii♪** : (*´ڡ`)ノ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeoS_fQWvkY ヽ(´ڡ`*)  
>  **GiganticOTN** : Holy shit… Cheesecake can jiggle
> 
> (alternatively: Iroha is screaming about Halloween, Miku revisits the Internet Support Group, and the author unintentionally promotes a Buzzfeed video. Amongst the chaos, Piko disappears.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -thomas sanders’ voice- hey there, guys, gals, and nonbinary palsss
> 
> tbh this chapter is really boring but idk when my next update is gonna be because school has decimated my energy and time… updates will be pretty infrequent from now on but thank you so much for reading until now 
> 
> i hope you guys like plot tho bc lmao there is actually a plot to this. dw tho bc there will still be my grade A humor present probably so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> key for all the usernames:  
> mikumikumii♪ - miku  
> boku_no_piko - piko  
> GiganticOTN - len  
> ❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ - yukari  
> whatsnewpussycat - iroha  
> Longganisa☪ - longya  
> PokeDex - “raleigh” / dex  
> ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ - “tette” / teto
> 
> pikkun isn’t here rn (if you couldn’t tell by the title of this chapter), but he would still want you to enjoy this. so please, enjoy!

****_October 31, 2017_ _  
_ _12:00 AM_ _  
_ _  
_ _whatsnewpussycat sent a picture  
  
_ **whatsnewpussycat** : SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS  
**mikumikumii♪** : SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE ヾ(。＞＜)シ  
**whatsnewpussycat** : SHRIEKING SKULLS WILL SHOCK YOUR SOUL  
**mikumikumii♪** : SEAL YOUR DOOM TONIGHT ＼(º □ º l|l)/  
**GiganticOTN** : Please no  
**mikumikumii♪** : ( ; ω ; )  
**whatsnewpussycat** : come on len  
**whatsnewpussycat** : get into the halloween spirit!!!  
**whatsnewpussycat** : naughty children get coal from halloween santa  
**Longganisa☪** : I wonder if coal is supposed to be such a bad gift… After all, I believe Len has a fireplace at his house.  
**GiganticOTN** : Thats true but we dont use it that often tbh  
**GiganticOTN** : AND IROHA  
**GiganticOTN** : YOUVE BEEN SAYING THOSE STUPID LYRICS FOR THE PAST WEEK  
**GiganticOTN** : NOW YOU CORRUPTED MIKU  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hEY HEY HEY  
**whatsnewpussycat** : MEMEKU LET HERSELF GET CORRUPTED  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ISNT THAT RIGHT MEMEKU  
**mikumikumii♪** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**whatsnewpussycat** : SEE?  
**GiganticOTN** : Miku  
**GiganticOTN** : I will buy you a matcha green donut to go along with the cappuccino I get you every morning if you stop this madness

_mikumikumii♪ is now offline_

**Longganisa☪** : Oh?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wait what  
**whatsnewpussycat** : whats happening  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ????????

_mikumikumii♪ is now online_

**mikumikumii♪** : hi everyone! and happy halloween!! ヾ(☆'∀'☆)  
**mikumikumii♪** : im sorry i havent been on at all tonight but im here now (´∀｀)  
**mikumikumii♪** : and i have no idea what a meme is but i do love donuts ( ❛ᴗ❛ )  
**GiganticOTN** : Thank you Miku!  
**GiganticOTN** : Celebrate your free donuts  
**mikumikumii♪** : ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wOW  
**whatsnewpussycat** : MIKU DID A SOFT RESET FOR DONUTS  
**whatsnewpussycat** : LOOK AT THIS BETRAYAL  
**GiganticOTN** : Are you that surprised? Its Miku  
**GiganticOTN** : And she loves donuts  
**whatsnewpussycat** : … tru  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but now who will be my meme partner  
**Longganisa☪** : Nobody, I believe.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : you hit where it hurts longya  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but wait  
**whatsnewpussycat** : len  
**GiganticOTN** : Yeah whats up  
**whatsnewpussycat** : you buy miku coffee in the morning???  
**mikumikumii♪** : he does! ☆⌒（＊＾∇゜）v  
**GiganticOTN** : Yeah. I mean why not?  
**GiganticOTN** : The donut shop is on my way to school  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so wheres my coffee :3c  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and donuts :3cc  
**whatsnewpussycat** : give pls :3ccc  
**Longganisa☪** : If I recall correctly, I thought you didn’t like coffee, Iroha.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : its the thought that matters, longya  
**GiganticOTN** : If I think I about getting you a donut but not actually getting it are we cool  
**whatsnewpussycat** : kagamine pls stop being a smart ass  
**whatsnewpussycat** : bUT ANYWAY  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ITS HALLOWEEN BITCHES  
**mikumikumii♪** : yaaay!! o(〃＾▽＾〃)o  
**GiganticOTN** : Fingers crossed for good costumes!  
**whatsnewpussycat** : folks… read good as sexy  
**Longganisa☪** : Are all of your costumes ready? For this Halloween, I’ll be dressing up as a prince.  
**mikumikumii♪** : oooooh! |( ❛o❛ )|  
**whatsnewpussycat** : N I C E  
**GiganticOTN** : You manage to outdo us like everytime lmao  
**GiganticOTN** : Prince Longya will you do us the honor of telling us your great costume secrets?  
**Longganisa☪** : Allow me a moment please.  
  
_Longganisa☪’s name is now PrinceLongya☪_ _  
_  
**PrinceLongya☪** : There! Now, for those secrets, Len…  
**mikumikumii♪** : a prince! (°ロ°) !  
**whatsnewpussycat** : prince longya my kingdom au for this skype group has finally come true  
**GiganticOTN** : Am I a prince in that fantasy too Iroha? ;)  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ur a servant who gets the death penalty to save his evil twin sister  
**GiganticOTN** : Please stop killing me in your imagination  
**GiganticOTN** : But yes Prince  
**GiganticOTN** : Enlighten us  
**PrinceLongya☪** : You need to be born rich in order to get the best materials for your costume. An assisstant is also very helpful, especially one such as mine! :)  
**GiganticOTN** : Guess Ill stick with store bought costumes…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : time to get a job banana boy  
**GiganticOTN** : Cant  
**GiganticOTN** : And you dont even have a job  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but i make money!!  
**GiganticOTN** : Uh how?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i sell pictures of my feet  
**GiganticOTN** : UH  
**GiganticOTN** : WTF?  
**mikumikumii♪** : w(°ｏ°)w  
**GiganticOTN** : If Yukari was here shed be screaming at you  
**PrinceLongya☪** : It’s wonderful you found a way to support yourself, Iroha!  
**GiganticOTN** : Dude… youre not helping…  
**PrinceLongya☪** : But is it not admirable that she is making money while still maintaining an education?  
**GiganticOTN** : No no thats great  
**GiganticOTN** : And students working jobs while handling schoolwork are underappreciated tbh  
**GiganticOTN** : But its just…  
**mikumikumii♪** : this is len rn!! → (￣～￣;)・・・  
**GiganticOTN** : Yes thank you for that Miku  
**GiganticOTN** : Its…  
**GiganticOTN** : … Nevermind  
**GiganticOTN** : Staying on topic for once I dont think Ill be dressing up this Halloween  
**whatsnewpussycat** : whaaaa  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but the halloween spirit  
**GiganticOTN** : Im… busy  
**whatsnewpussycat** : busy he says…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**mikumikumii♪** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**PrinceLongya☪** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**GiganticOTN** : I guess Ill eat those donuts for myself Miku…  
**mikumikumii♪** : i take that lenny face back!! ･ﾟ･(｡ >ω<｡)･ﾟ･  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but like  
**whatsnewpussycat** : why not dress up  
**GiganticOTN** : Im not feeling it I guess?  
**GiganticOTN** : Id usually go dressed as a hot doctor or something at the annual Halloween party but last year’s party…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : what happened at last year’s party???  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and when was there an ANNUAL party??  
**GiganticOTN** : Only popular people get invited to them  
**GiganticOTN** : Uh no offense  
**GiganticOTN** : Sorry  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ohhhh  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so like you and miku and longya  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I’m always invited, but I never go. Maybe this year I’ll show up. May you remind me who is hosting this year’s party?  
**mikumikumii♪** : teto!! (=`ω´=)  
**GiganticOTN** : Yeah!  
**GiganticOTN** : Which is kind of strange because seniors usually hold the Halloween parties but shes pretty popular  
**whatsnewpussycat** : huh  
**whatsnewpussycat** : well whatever  
**whatsnewpussycat** : guess what IM gonna be dressing up as ;3c  
**GiganticOTN** : A meme  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Is it Hello Kitty?  
**mikumikumii♪** : a singular tortilla chip (=^･ω･^=)  
**whatsnewpussycat** : yall suck at guessing  
**whatsnewpussycat** : or should i say NYALL lmao  
**GiganticOTN** : Miku if you kick Iroha out Ill add croissant sandwiches to the donuts  
**mikumikumii♪** : bye bye, iroha! (≧▽≦)/  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wAIT WHAT

 _mikumikumii♪ has kicked whatsnewpussycat_ _from the group_

 **PrinceLongya☪** : Good night, Iroha!  
**GiganticOTN** : Lmao  
**GiganticOTN** : Ok Miku Ill get you your food from here on out  
**mikumikumii♪** : ☆ミヾ(∇≦((ヾ(≧∇≦)〃))≧∇)ノ彡☆  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I should be off to sleep as well… Busy day tomorrow. So please take care, everyone! Good night, Len, Miku.  
**GiganticOTN** : Night Longya!  
**mikumikumii♪** : night night! ヾ(^ω^*)  
  
_PrinceLongya☪ is now offline_ _  
_  
**GiganticOTN** : There he goes  
**GiganticOTN** : Now its just us  
**mikumikumii♪** : C= C= C= C= C=┌(;・ω・)┘  
**GiganticOTN** : IM HURT  
**GiganticOTN** : But hey mind if we just PM each other? I doubt anyone is gonna come on now  
**GiganticOTN** : Especially the Mom of our group  
**mikumikumii♪** : okay! (￣▽￣*)ゞ

* * *

 _October 31, 2017  
_ _12:21 AM_

 _You have (1) notifications from GiganticOTN  
  
_ **GiganticOTN** : Two questions  
**mikumikumii♪** : (・ω・ ) ?  
**GiganticOTN** : Ill ask the embarrassing one to get it over with  
**GiganticOTN** : … Can I come over your house today?  
**GiganticOTN** : Not right now but like come over at 7  
**mikumikumii♪** : is everything okay? (・人・)  
**GiganticOTN** : Yeah kinda  
**GiganticOTN** : I…  
**GiganticOTN** : Usually I go to the Halloween party or sleep with someone  
**GiganticOTN** : But I dont know  
**GiganticOTN** : I think I just want to have fun with a friend today. Chilling… but not Netflix and chill obviously  
**mikumikumii♪** : hm… (´ー` )  
**mikumikumii♪** : okay! (๑˘︶˘๑)  
**GiganticOTN** : Really?!  
**GiganticOTN** : Thanks so much!  
**GiganticOTN** : This honestly means alot to me Miku  
**GiganticOTN** : Really  
**mikumikumii♪** : its nothing! but help me pass out candy please? ( ´ ▽ ` )  
**GiganticOTN** : Of course  
**GiganticOTN** : What should I bring over?  
**mikumikumii♪** : a costume! i don’t care if it’s a bed sheet with holes as eyes!! i want something!!! (҂ `з´ )  
**GiganticOTN** : Okay okay understood  
**GiganticOTN** : I… actually have a costume but only youll get to see it  
**mikumikumii♪** : i’m excited (≧◡≦) ♡  
**mikumikumii♪** : can you also bring cream cheese, flour, and cornstarch please? (• ω •*)  
**GiganticOTN** : … Are we baking something?  
**mikumikumii♪** : only the world’s most jiggly cheesecake! (*´ڡ`●)  
**GiganticOTN** : Cheesecake can jiggle?  
**mikumikumii♪** : (*´ڡ`)ノ [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeoS_fQWvkY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeoS_fQWvkY)ヽ(´ڡ`*)  
**GiganticOTN** : Holy shit… Cheesecake can jiggle  
**GiganticOTN** : Okay Im down  
**GiganticOTN** : Ill make a stop at the grocery store after school  
**mikumikumii♪** : yay! i can’t wait to eat it ( • ڡ • )  
**GiganticOTN** : Lol first we have to MAKE it  
**GiganticOTN** : Im hyped too  
**GiganticOTN** : But Miku the other thing I have to ask…  
**GiganticOTN** : Have you contacted Piko at all? He hasnt been in the group for a week now  
**GiganticOTN** : I was worried so I messaged him privately… But he didnt respond  
**GiganticOTN** : Have you… heard from him?  
**mikumikumii♪** : i texted him but he said hes busy ( ; ω ; )  
**mikumikumii♪** : he’ll come back to the group when whatever hes doing is done but i hope he’s okay… ｡ﾟ(｡ﾉωヽ｡)ﾟ｡  
**GiganticOTN** : Lets hope Pikos fine  
**GiganticOTN** : Have you messaged any friends Piko has? Maybe they told him something… Although I dont like prying  
**mikumikumii♪** : ah, i didn’t think of that! (｡･o･ ｡)  
**mikumikumii♪** : thank you for the idea!! ill go message our internet support group right away! (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*  
**GiganticOTN** : Its nothing. Were just both concerned  
**GiganticOTN** : And… internet support group?  
**mikumikumii♪** : it’s a group of online friends! the majority of us met on a forum way back. i just call it the internet friend group bc we have no permanent name to this day (^ ^ ;)  
**mikumikumii♪** : people come and go, but that’s okay. the core people like me and pikkun stay! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶  
**GiganticOTN** : That sounds fun  
**GiganticOTN** : Glad he has more people than just us  
**GiganticOTN** : But I think its time for me to go sleep lol  
**GiganticOTN** : Ill catch you later Miku  
**GiganticOTN** : And thanks… really  
**mikumikumii♪** : hehe. good night len!! (o´ω`o)ﾉ  
**GiganticOTN** : Good night Miku :)  
  
_GiganticOTN is now offline_

* * *

 _October 31, 2017  
_ _12:37 AM_ _  
_ _  
_ _ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ renamed Persona 4: Yiffing All Night to Tette’s Harem_ _  
_ _  
_ _PokeDex renamed Tette’s Harem to yiff means fuck me in furry_ _  
_ _  
_ _ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ renamed yiff means fuck me in furry to Fuck You™_ _  
_ _  
_ _PokeDex renamed Fuck You™ to I’m Not Interested_  
  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : F  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : U  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : C  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : K  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : Y  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : O  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : U  
**PokeDex** : R  
**PokeDex** : S  
**PokeDex** : E  
**PokeDex** : L  
**PokeDex** : F  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : UGH  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : WHY r u SO d i f f i c u l t  
**PokeDex** : Because It’s Fun  
**PokeDex** : And It’s Not Like You’re Going To Be On All Day  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : obv bc i’m partyin  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i get the gr8 honor of bein the host 4 my school’s annual halloween party  
**PokeDex** : For Popular People?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : for popular ppl  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : what r u doin 4 halloween  
**PokeDex** : Work  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ew  
**PokeDex** : …It’s Not That Bad…    
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : it SOUNDS bad  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : all i hope 4 this year is 4 miku 2 come 2 my party …  
**mikumikumii♪** : aw! you miss me that much, tette?? ヾ(≧♡≦)ﾉﾞ  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : MIKU ❣❣❣❣❣ UR HERE ❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣  
**PokeDex** : Welcome Back, Miku  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : :0  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i missed u girlie ❤  
**mikumikumii♪** : but tette… i was here yesterday? (●´ω｀●)ゞ  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ya but still ❤❤  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : how r u ?  
**mikumikumii♪** : i’m kinda hungry… (^◇^ ;)  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i wILL COME OVER UR HOUSE RITE NOW AND MAKE U FOOD  
**mikumikumii♪** : no, i’m fine! i have leftovers!! Σ(´△｀Ⅲ)  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ITS OK ❣ U ONLY DESERVE THE FRESHEST OF FOODS ❣❣❣  
**PokeDex** : Tette, Chill  
**PokeDex** : Do You Even Know How To Cook ?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : o rite  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i can’t cook 4 her then …  
**PokeDex** : …  
**PokeDex** : No Shit, Sherlock  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : jump off a cliff watson  
**PokeDex** : Make Me  
**mikumikumii♪** : guys! stop fighting!! (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू)  
**PokeDex** : … Sorry  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : AH don’t make ur kaomoji cry miku :c  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : we won’t fight as long as ur here c;  
**mikumikumii♪** : ♡ヽ(‾⌣‾*)  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ/ ♡  
**mikumikumii♪** : how are you two? (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : cute like always  
**PokeDex** : Bored  
**PokeDex** : We’re Supposed To Be Streaming Horror Games Here  
**PokeDex** : Any Recommendations? We’ve Played Too Much Amnesia  
**mikumikumii♪** : hmm… persona 4 dan, idolm@ster 2, 7th dragon 2020, 13-sai no hellowork ds, brave frontier, and rage of bahamut!! (๑✧◡✧๑)  
**PokeDex** : …Horror Games…    
**mikumikumii♪** : oh! … then dreaming mary! ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧  
**PokeDex** : I Can Work With That  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : mIKU I CAN LS THOSE GAMES IF U WANT ❣❣❣  
**mikumikumii♪** : ah, don’t force yourself, tette! (.^ᴗ^. ;)  
**mikumikumii♪** : but i have to ask you guys something… (๑°︿°๑)  
**mikumikumii♪** : have you talked to pikkun recently? i haven’t had a proper conversation with him since a week ago… (*´A`*)  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : him ? i dont talk 2 him outside this group so no  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : sorry :c  
**PokeDex** : I Haven’t. Maybe The Others Know?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : us two will message u if we get any news ❣ right raleigh ?  
**PokeDex** : …Right  
**mikumikumii♪** : aw, you guys are the best! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)  
**mikumikumii♪** : i have to log off right now, but i’ll catch you two tomorrow?  
**PokeDex** : Sure Thing. Good Night, Miku  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : night girlie ❣ get ur beauty sleep ❣  
**mikumikumii♪** : i will! (´⌣`❁)  
**mikumikumii♪** : night night, everybody!! (◍˃ᗜ˂◍)ﾉ”  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ❤  
  
_mikumikumii♪ is now offline_  
  
**PokeDex** : …  
**PokeDex** : …I See You Still Have A Thing For A Certain Someone  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : raleigh  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : shut the fuck up

* * *

 _October 31, 2017  
_ _4:40 PM_  
  
_❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ has added whatsnewpussycat_ _  
_  
**whatsnewpussycat** : fINALLY  
**whatsnewpussycat** : MIKU FORGOT TO ADD ME BACK AND I WAS SUFFERING  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Welcome back, Iroha!  
**whatsnewpussycat** : crying  
**whatsnewpussycat** : im not talking to any of you except yukari  
**whatsnewpussycat** : you all couldve added me back  
**PrinceLongya☪** : My apologies. I simply do not know how to add a person back to a group.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : … ok ill forgive longya  
**whatsnewpussycat** : BUT MIKU… LEN…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : D E A D  T O  M E  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Hm… Aren’t we forgetting someone?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : …  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … It’s Piko  
**whatsnewpussycat** : GASP  
**whatsnewpussycat** : PIKO  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : In fact, he hasn’t messaged us in a while…  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Perhaps he is ill?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : p e r h a p s  
**whatsnewpussycat** : OR  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Oh gosh  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Here Iroha goes again  
**whatsnewpussycat** : my boi piko has had enough of waiting his whole life to confess to his true rabu miku  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so piko magically shows up to miku’s door with like roses or some shi  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and puts his best bishounen face and is like “micchan marry me ;))))”  
**whatsnewpussycat** : miku is shocked like :O (i dont fucking know how to make kaomojis but aNYWAY)  
**whatsnewpussycat** : bUT NO NO NO BC LEN APPEARS with a boner bc hes prob horny 24/7 and is like “NOT IF I BONE HER FIRST!!1!!!!!”  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and miku is like super :OO  
**whatsnewpussycat** : piko and len then fight to the death for tRUE RABU and then they both die bc theyre stupid  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Iroha…  
**PrinceLongya☪** : What a fun, little story! I appreciate your attempt with Miku’s kaomoji. Is this what they call fanfiction?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Longya…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ye  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and thank for the compliment  
**whatsnewpussycat** : bUT WAIT THERES MORE  
**whatsnewpussycat** : … miku hovers over piko and lens bodies and takes their money before dumping their bodies in a river  
**whatsnewpussycat** : “ohohoho all according to keikaku (keikaku means plan)  >:D”  
**whatsnewpussycat** : now THATS the end  
**PrinceLongya☪** : The twist ending surely caught me off by surprise, Iroha! I did not expect Miku to have planned their deaths…  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Don’t encourage it, Longya  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Iroha. Even if Piko confessed his “love” to Miku, why was Len with Miku in the first place? If he was with her… why did she seem so shocked still?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hEY  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i didnt say this would be free of plot holes  
**whatsnewpussycat** : dont like dont read  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : …  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I wonder if it was the right choice to add you back…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : pLS DONT KICK ME  
**whatsnewpussycat** : WHY AM I THE ONE ALWAYS GETTING KICKED  
**whatsnewpussycat** : WHAT ABOUT BANANA BOI  
**PrinceLongya☪** : If we kick Len, then who do we have to tease other than you? :)  
**whatsnewpussycat** : thats cold longya  
**whatsnewpussycat** : real cold  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Len isn’t here either, now that I think about it…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but that can be explained easily tho  
**whatsnewpussycat** : a) hes getting some  
**whatsnewpussycat** : b) he turned off his phone to study  
**PrinceLongya☪** : c) He was kidnapped for ransom?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : C is unlikely, but A and B are possible. Still, something feels off…  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Yukari, if we are pointing out who is not present, then Miku should be included as well. However, I do not believe their absence is that suspicious. After all, did Piko not say he was moving? He may be packing or on a flight to this town depending where he lived before.  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Regarding Len and Miku, they could both be busy. It is Halloween, after all.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … You’re right. I just find it odd, but I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : sPEAKING OF HALLOWEEN THO  
**whatsnewpussycat** : YUKARI  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Iroha?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR HALLOWEEN  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … I’m sleeping through it  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wtf  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but its halloween!1!!!!  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I’m afraid no one can match your enthusiasm for this holiday, Iroha.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ugh youre telling me  
**whatsnewpussycat** : we all have to go to trick or treating at some point tho  
**whatsnewpussycat** : idgaf if you two are gonna be in college ok  
**whatsnewpussycat** : wE ARE TRICK OR TREATING NEXT YEAR  
**PrinceLongya☪** : That sounds like something fun. I’ll have to have my assistant mark that down on the calendar for me…  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : No promises, Iroha. College is a critical part of our lives…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : yukari pls  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … But we may be able to spare some time  
**whatsnewpussycat** : YESSSSS  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but going back on topic kinda  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i wonder where they all are? its weird for miku to not be here either all day  
**PrinceLongya☪** : If it helps, Iroha, I did exchange pleasantries with Miku in the hallway today, so we know she wasn’t kidnapped. Unless she was kidnapped after school…  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : What is with you and kidnapping…?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : three of our members are missing!  
**whatsnewpussycat** : tHE PLOT IS THICKENING  
**whatsnewpussycat** : THE ANGST IS PILING ON  
**PrinceLongya☪** : What will happen next in this “fanfiction”, Iroha?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : well my child…………  
**whatsnewpussycat** : that is……………………  
**whatsnewpussycat** : …………………… to be continued  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : …  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : You’re ridiculous.

* * *

 _October 31, 2017  
_ _5:23 PM_ _  
_ _  
_ _boku_no_piko is now online_

 **boku_no_piko** : ?   
**boku_no_piko** : ???  
**boku_no_piko**  : ????????  
**boku_no_piko** : …  
**boku_no_piko**  : Holy shit  
**boku_no_piko** : This is Pikos account…  
**boku_no_piko**  : …Which means this is Pikos phone  
**boku_no_piko**  : …   
**boku_no_piko** : What the hell is happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my eggboy [fifi](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3401399/FiniteXS) delayed betaing this bc his mom bought mochi and if that isn’t mood™ idk what is
> 
>  **regarding teto and dex’s names** : a new skype group is being introduced. let’s call them the internet support group for now. unlike ars-free, the majority of them met on internet, specifically forums. that’s why the majority of them go by pseudonyms. dex goes by “raleigh” as that was his concept name before dex, and teto goes by “tette” after the lunacy of duke venomania’s tette cetera. miku just goes by miku because… she’s miku. (psst, both piko and miku _do_ have pseudonyms too but are used much less compared to the others)
> 
> and yes. others. this cast is about to get _big_. kinda
> 
> o and all the games miku listed? she made cameos in all of them! i personally love the p4dan and dragon 2020 mikus ❤
> 
> ya
> 
> kk bye


	5. h-hewwoween??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **FUCKASS** : WHAT WAS MIKUS SELF INSERT OC BACK IN THE DAY  
>  **boku_no_piko** : BLACK★ROCK SHOOTER but instead of a cannon that shoots rocks she has a small knife instead  
>  **PokeDex** : That Sounds Questionable  
>  **boku_no_piko** : I decided not to ask her about it  
>  **PokeDex** : Fair Enough
> 
> (alternatively: Len gets questioned by Miku’s more peculiar friends, and everyone suspects Piko trying to fuck a box of lingonberry juice. Meanwhile, Longya receives an interesting gift and decides to put it to good use.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh
> 
> hi
> 
> this update is long overdue, but tbh school killed my everything and im going through some shit so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> as an apology for keeping all of you lovely ppl waiting, this is **17 pages** long, so have at this while i take forever for the next update :’)
> 
> a side note, but if you want to read something of a different genre, you can read my latest work [off the corner of no man’s land](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12471580). just be sure to heed the warnings tho
> 
> key for all the usernames:  
> mikumikumii♪ - miku  
> boku_no_piko - piko  
> GiganticOTN - len  
> ❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ - yukari  
> whatsnewpussycat - iroha  
> PrinceLongya☪ - longya  
> PokeDex - “raleigh” / dex  
> ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ - “tette” / teto  
> FUCKASS - fukase
> 
> ※ tales of zestiria, or toz, is a game that’s referenced here, but you don’t need to know what it’s about to understand context
> 
> longganisa—i mean, longya would be pleased if you enjoyed this. so please, enjoy!

****_October 31, 2017_ _  
_ _6:23 PM_

_boku_no_piko is now online_

_ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ sent a picture_

**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : DO U WANNA GUESS WHOSE PARTY IS FUCKIN RUINED  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ME  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ITS MY PARTY **  
** **PokeDex** : Tette  
**PokeDex** : Can You Explain To Us Why Your Jacuzzi Is Bright Orange  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : kk well  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : u never met… THE ass guy  
**PokeDex** : Ass guy?  
**FUCKASS** : whats this ass guy like?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : AN ASS  
**PokeDex** : That Sure Explains It  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : f u  
**FUCKASS** : Tette, Raleigh  
**FUCKASS** : we are ALL civilized adults here  
**PokeDex** : The Only Adults Here Are Hio and Myself  
**PokeDex** : Miku, Pi, and V Are In High School  
**PokeDex** : You Are In Middle School  
**PokeDex** : And Tette Is In Elementary  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : F U  
**FUCKASS** : ya got me there :D  
**FUCKASS** : but liKE WAT  
**FUCKASS** : explain plz  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : since u nicely asked  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : SO MY FUCKIN PARTY IS RUINED  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i’m supposed to hold THE annual halloween party  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : already told raleigh this so ye  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : but like this is a gr8 honor 4 someone whos not a senior  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : SO i was like hyped cuz this is basically like my crown on becoming popular  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : bout time cuz … well look at me ❤  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i called a dj, hired ppl to decorate my house, bought this cute outfit

_ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ sent a picture_

**FUCKASS** : is that lingerie :0  
**PokeDex** : Fukase, Close Your Eyes  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : U DIPSHIT  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ITS A LIL DEVIL COSTUME  
**PokeDex** : Fitting  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i’ll grace ur life by not kicking ur ass  
**FUCKASS** : “hAd iT NoT bEEn FOr tHe lAWs OF tHis LAnd, i WoUlD hAvE sLauGHtEReD YOu” - tette probably  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ……anyway  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : some ppl came early and that’s fine  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : what is NOT fine is SOME A S S H O L E comin to MY party TRIPPING ON LSD  
**PokeDex** : …  
**PokeDex** : Tell Me You Kicked Him Out  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : um ya  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ofc  
**PokeDex** : Good  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : but not after he BUMPED into a BARREL OF CANDY CORN and TIPPED it into my J A C U Z Z I  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : B O I  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : TF  
**FUCKASS** : :c  
**FUCKASS** : poor candy corn  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : POOR ME FUKASE  
**FUCKASS** : i guess that too?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : …

_ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ is now offline_

**FUCKASS** : NOOOO  
**FUCKASS** : TETTE COME BACK  
**PokeDex** : I’m Surprised She Logged Off That Easily  
**PokeDex** : Then Again, She Probably Has To Fix Her Whole Jacuzzi Situation  
**PokeDex** : But I Think This Is A Good Time As Any  
**PokeDex** : Piko, Reveal Yourself!  
**FUCKASS** : PIKOPI I CHOOSE YOU  
**boku_no_piko** : Oh  
**boku_no_piko** : Hey! Guess thats me  
**boku_no_piko** : Sorry I didnt say anything when… Tette (?) was sending a pic of her orange jacuzzi  
**FUCKASS** : I WANT TO GO IN THAT JACUZZI THOUGH!!!!1!  
**PokeDex** : I Support Your Decision  
**boku_no_piko** : I dont think thats a good idea?  
**FUCKASS** : SHHH ITS ON THE DOWN LOW  
**PokeDex** : But Piko, I See You Changed Your Typing Style?  
**FUCKASS** : OH  
**FUCKASS** : ARE WE SWITCHING STYLES  
**FUCKASS** : Hi, I’m Raleigh And The Only Thing I Like Is My Job And Being A Furry  
**PokeDex** : (Stop)  
**boku_no_piko** : Okay  
**boku_no_piko** : So this is awkward but  
**boku_no_piko** : Im not really Piko lol  
**boku_no_piko** : My names Len and Im actually a friend of his  
**boku_no_piko** : Idk if you guys will believe me but I was at IKEA and I found some phone on the ground  
**boku_no_piko** : It was unlocked and turned out to be Pikos??  
**PokeDex** : …  
**PokeDex** : That Sounds Suspicious  
**FUCKASS** : i dunno raleigh!!1  
**FUCKASS** : what IF hes telling the truth  
**PokeDex** : What If He Isn’t?  
**PokeDex** : I Don’t Want To Take Chances Like Last Time  
**boku_no_piko** : I know this is confusing for you guys…  
**boku_no_piko** : But if it helps I know Miku  
**boku_no_piko** : I think you guys said her name here so…  
**FUCKASS** : everyone knows miku tho?  
**boku_no_piko** : Everyone?  
**FUCKASS** : SHE’S A SINGER ON NICO NICO AND YT?? HAS OVER A MILLION FOLLOWERS?? HAS FANART?????  
**PokeDex** : Don’t Forget She Has Some Merch Out  
**PokeDex** : I Got One Of Her Prints For Fun But The Shirt Was Actually Good Quality  
**boku_no_piko** : WTF  
**boku_no_piko** : UH  
**boku_no_piko** : DID NOT KNOW THAT  
**boku_no_piko** : SINCE WHEN  
**boku_no_piko** : Maybe thats why she doesnt answer her phone for a long period of time…  
**FUCKASS** : or she doesn’t like you xP  
**boku_no_piko** : … Were best friends  
**boku_no_piko** : I mean Id give her all the space she needs  
**boku_no_piko** : But were best friends. I think she likes me enough  
**FUCKASS** : i thought piko was her bff?  
**PokeDex** : You’re Best Friends But You Don’t Know She’s A Cover Artist On The Internet?  
**boku_no_piko** : Uh  
**boku_no_piko** : I know she sings really good  
**boku_no_piko** : Shes gonna be in this singing competition soon and go against people all over Japan  
**boku_no_piko** : Its an impressive feat and Im really proud of her  
**boku_no_piko** : I just… didnt know she sang online too  
**FUCKASS** : WOW  
**FUCKASS** : THATS HARDCORE  
**PokeDex** : …Miku Didn’t Tell Us About A Competition…  
**boku_no_piko** : And you call yourselves her friends?  
**boku_no_piko** : … Sorry  
**boku_no_piko** : That was out of line  
**boku_no_piko** : I shouldnt have typed that  
**boku_no_piko** : I really am Pikos and Mikus friend but…  
**boku_no_piko** : Oh wait! I can prove it?  
**boku_no_piko** : Ill just find a picture of Miku and me on Twitter…  
**boku_no_piko** : Itll be quick I promise  
**FUCKASS** : BUT RALEIGH  
**FUCKASS** : WHAT IF THIS PERSON SENDS US SOMETHING GROSS  
**FUCKASS** : LIKE A DICK PIC  
**PokeDex** : Don’t Worry, I’ll Just Kick Them If That Happens  
**boku_no_piko** : I AM NOT SENDING A DICK PIC

_boku_no_piko sent a picture_

**boku_no_piko** : There  
**boku_no_piko** : Im the blond guy besides Miku  
**FUCKASS** : oh so your a dude  
**FUCKASS** : you look familiar!!!  
**PokeDex** : He Does Have A Common-Looking Face  
**boku_no_piko** : Please dont roast my face  
**boku_no_piko** : This pic was from a while ago so I look sorta different now  
**boku_no_piko** : But I do know Piko and Miku  
**PokeDex** : This Could Be Just A Random Picture You Got Off Of Social Media  
**boku_no_piko** : Yeah from MY social media…  
**PokeDex** : Prove It  
**FUCKASS** : THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THEM  
**boku_no_piko** : Dude what  
**boku_no_piko** : Uh tbh Ive only known Piko for a little while  
**boku_no_piko** : I still consider him my friend but idk him well enough  
**boku_no_piko** : I have known Miku for a long time though  
**PokeDex** : Then What Is Her Birthday?  
**boku_no_piko** : August 31  
**FUCKASS** : WHAT GAMES ARE SHE GOOD AT  
**boku_no_piko** : If you mean video games, rhythm and dance games  
**boku_no_piko** : But if you mean card games, then bs and old maid  
**PokeDex** : Instrument she plays?  
**boku_no_piko** : Kazoo  
**boku_no_piko** : And the only thing knows how to play on it is the Titanic OST on it  
**FUCKASS** : WHAT WAS MIKUS SELF INSERT OC BACK IN THE DAY  
**boku_no_piko** : BLACK★ROCK SHOOTER but instead of a cannon that shoots rocks she has a small knife instead  
**PokeDex** : That Sounds Questionable  
**boku_no_piko** : I decided not to ask her about it  
**PokeDex** : Fair Enough  
**PokeDex** : If Miku Was An Animal?  
**boku_no_piko** : She said she wanted to be a shiba inu solely for bad memes but  
**boku_no_piko** : I think she suits being a butterfly better  
**FUCKASS** : ARE YOU CALLING MIKU A BUG  
**boku_no_piko** : NO  
**boku_no_piko** : Its just… butterflies are pretty?  
**FUCKASS** : ARE YOU CALLINNG MIKU PRETTY  
**boku_no_piko** : YES??  
**FUCKASS** : OKK GOOD  
**FUCKASS** : raleigh i think len passes the test!!!!!!!!  
**PokeDex** : You Think So?  
**PokeDex** : I Already Believed Him When He Said He Knew Them Since I Know Piko Loses Stuff  
**boku_no_piko** : Wait  
**boku_no_piko** : Then whyd you ask me all those questions?  
**PokeDex** : Because I Can?  
**FUCKASS** : kekekeke  
**FUCKASS** : get rekt  
**boku_no_piko** : …  
**boku_no_piko** : Jfc  
**boku_no_piko** : Look since you guys know Piko better  
**boku_no_piko** : Where do you think hed be in Ikea?  
**PokeDex** : Considering This Is Piko, He Probably Already Got His Lingonberry Juice  
**FUCKASS** : aww now i’m thirsty  
**FUCKASS** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**boku_no_piko** : Please no  
**PokeDex** : Don’t Make Me Kick You  
**FUCKASS** : PLZ DON’T KICK ME I’M SORRY  
**PokeDex** : GOOD  
**PokeDex** : If He Already Got His Lingonberry Juice And He Lost His Phone, He Might Be At The Help Desk  
**PokeDex** : Or Trying To Since He Gets Lost Easily  
**boku_no_piko** : Oh god  
**boku_no_piko** : Guess Ill check there  
**FUCKASS** : OR  
**FUCKASS** : CHECK THE BED AREA  
**boku_no_piko** : Why there?  
**FUCKASS** : hes probably moping about life lololol XD  
**boku_no_piko** : … Thanks  
**boku_no_piko** : Ill be going so… bye?  
**FUCKASS** : byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
**PokeDex** : See You  
**FUCKASS** : …  
**FUCKASS** : i guess its just me and you, raleigh :^)  
**PokeDex** : I Have To Go Do Something For My Job  
**PokeDex** : Bye

_PokeDex is now offline_

**FUCKASS** : :^(

* * *

Piko likes a lot of things. He likes Halloween since it gives him the excuse to buy candy (except black licorice because fuck black licorice) from stores only to bring back bags of it home and stuff his face with sugar. He likes cosplaying; the idea to not be his sorry self for one day and to be connected with the world of fiction is too appealing to pass up on. He even likes IKEA, no matter how easy it is to get lost in such an needlessly large store—just what do they put in that lingonberry juice that keeps him coming back? (Piko later finds out, _Of course, it’s fucking lingonberry_.)

Surprisingly, Piko does not like them together.

“What the fuck,” is a collective grumble that escapes him. He fishes through his pockets, albeit with desperation, but no cigar. He’s stuck in some _Tales of Zestiria_ cosplay— _Mikleo_ , the teen reminds himself. _I should at least know the name of Micchan’s favorite character—_ lost in the vastness of an IKEA store, with no phone in hand. And it’s Halloween. Wonderful.

He paces around. It’s been half an hour since he’s lost not only his phone but his sense of direction. Judging by the displays of shelves that if he himself had built, they would’ve collapsed about two hours of standing, he’s far from the help center. That is, if IKEA even _had_ a help center.

Piko drags his feet in the chaos that is IKEA, and the thought of asking one of the staff members occurs to him in a way similar to that of chucking a ball at one’s head and the person not bothering to pick it right back up.

And that’s the end of that, especially when he finds a random bed and collapses onto the mattress.

* * *

 _October 31, 2017  
_ _6:50 PM_

_PrinceLongya☪ added whatsnewpussycat and ❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ to a group_

**PrinceLongya☪** : Everyone… I am here to say that I had a change of heart. Unfortunately, I will not be attending Teto’s party tonight.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : por que  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : What changed your mind, Longya?  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I received a coffin from my assistant as a gift.  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : …  
**whatsnewpussycat** : HOLY FUCC  
**whatsnewpussycat** : PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

_PrinceLongya☪ sent a picture_

**PrinceLongya☪** : It happened. :)  
**whatsnewpussycat** : aSTYUVIOIPHVO  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Disregarding that your assistant did send you this… It is a nice looking coffin  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I’ll be sure to address to him that you like it. I’m pleased by this as well!  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … I am concerned  
**whatsnewpussycat** : the gold trimming looks pretty rad  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but uh  
**whatsnewpussycat** : is this used or what  
**PrinceLongya☪** : My assistant informed me that this coffin has probably not been used.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : P R O B A B L Y  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : I agree with Iroha that the “probably” does worry me…  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : But I trust that your assistant is responsible?  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I assure you that you have nothing to worry about, Yukari. But that brings me to my next inquire…  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Would you two like to come and take pictures with my coffin?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : …  
**whatsnewpussycat** : QWKLBKLB  
**whatsnewpussycat** : FUCK YEAA  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Iroha…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : sorry  
**whatsnewpussycat** : HECK YE  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Perfect. You do know where my address is, Iroha, yes?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ya  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Wait a minute  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Can I ask _why_ you want us to take a picture with your coffin?  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I thought it would be a fun activity, especially considering what day it is. Wouldn’t it get us in the Halloween spirit?  
**whatsnewpussycat** : more like the spirit of being dead  
**whatsnewpussycat** : but like im totally up for that too  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Additionally, my family photographer is present in my household and looking rather bored, so why not have some fun?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Longya, I don’t know…  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : That just sounds… strange…  
**whatsnewpussycat** : COME ON YUKARI  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ITL BE FUN  
**whatsnewpussycat** : YOU CAN SLEEP IN THE COFFIN  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : No thanks  
**PrinceLongya☪** : If it helps, there is a perfectly acceptable couch in the room we’ll be photographing in. You may take a nap there, if you’d like?  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … I’ll be bringing my own blanket then  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Don’t forget your stuffed animal rabbit!  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : You’re a cruel, cruel monster, Longya.  
**PrinceLongya☪** : :(  
**whatsnewpussycat** : so btw  
**whatsnewpussycat** : why did you add us to a new group  
**whatsnewpussycat** : we had a perfectly good group chat with the rest??  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I thought it would be best if we don’t… “spam” them constantly. Miku, Len, and Piko haven’t been responding as of late. I believed it made more sense to make a group with the most active people.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i mean theyd prob respond some time later  
**whatsnewpussycat** : tho i get what your saying  
**whatsnewpussycat** : bUT ITS TIME TO NAME NEW GROUP CHAT

_whatsnewpussycat renamed group to jUST THE THREE OF US (WE CAN MAKE IT IF WE TRY)_

**PrinceLongya☪** : Ah, that is a nice name!  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … It isn’t the worst you’ve came up with  
**whatsnewpussycat** : hm??  
**whatsnewpussycat** : whats that supposed to mean yukari???  
**whatsnewpussycat** : huh????  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Oh  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Well, you see…

_❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ is now offline_

**whatsnewpussycat** : yUKARI  
**whatsnewpussycat** : WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME  
**whatsnewpussycat** : QWDCVGYHUJMKL  
**PrinceLongya☪** : If it is any consolation, Iroha, I appreciate the reference you made in the title!  
**whatsnewpussycat** : sheds a tear  
**whatsnewpussycat** : youre a true friend longya  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I try. :)

* * *

Len’s visit to the help center, coincidentally enough, provides him with no help. Sure, he may have been able to ask someone to announce something along the lines of, “To the person who is missing an iPhone in some weeb ass anime case, please come to the help center” but that someone looked high off his ass, so Len didn’t want to take any chances. And yes, he could have left Piko’s phone in some lost and found basket, but Len didn’t exactly trust that either.

The visit to the display bedrooms is a different story.

Striding past the fake rooms, he scans for someone possibly moping on one of the beds, yet it dawns on him that that is the _only_ thing Len is searching for. Is Piko taller than him? Does the guy have black hair? Is he someone that’s prone to smile in awkward situations?

Piko’s phone is tucked safely in Len’s pockets, and he has no plans to take it out and search for anything indicating his acquaintance’s appearance. Going on Piko’s Skype had been a complete accident when Len picked the lying iPhone off the floor, but at least Len somewhat knows who he’s looking for. Doing anything other than that is going way too far for someone he doesn’t know all too well.

It takes a few moments and a bit of jogging―Len has no problems with swatting at the orange feathers hanging from his ears, as they regularly smack his immaculate face―before Len _does_ find some guy, all droopy and mopey, as he’s face first in a pink bed in an even pinker room.

Len squints at the lying figure, curious. _That get-up looks familiar_ …

He checks his own self out in response: a cerulean blue shirt, buckled gloves, and a large, white cape that extends over his chest. Sorey, from _Tales of Zestiria_. Ordering the cosplay online had been a hassle, but the craftsmanship of the costume proves to be worth it. And hey, the person that made this even included pockets, something Len actually needs, so bonus points to them.

In sheer admiration for himself, he grins. _I’m sure Miku is gonna love this, especially since Sorey_ is _her favorite character and all._

She is going to love it, Len knows, but he sure doesn’t when his feet topple over his long cape. He yelps, fumbling with the inconvenient article of clothing, as he tries to shake off his cape. Still, he ungracefully flops onto the mattress, onto _Piko_. He freezes. The body under him squeaks, surprised, and Len can’t shed the utter mortification off his face.

When Len hears an IKEA worker slur into a walkie-talkie, “Hey, uh, can you come to the display bedrooms pronto? I think these two cosplayers are tryin’ to fuck in a kiddie bedroom,” he knows he’s never going to be able to show his face here again.

* * *

 _October 31, 2017  
_ _8:02 PM_

_ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ is now online_

**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : MIKU … WHY ARENT U @ MY PARTY  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : I MISS U … :((  
**FUCKASS** : sorry tette, but she isnt here :c  
**FUCKASS** : maybe shes sick  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : I SHOULD GO TO HER THEN ❣❣❣❣❣  
**PokeDex** : Tette  
**PokeDex** : That’s A Shit Decision  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : um y  
**PokeDex** : This Is YOUR Party You’re Hosting  
**PokeDex** : In YOUR House  
**PokeDex** : What If Something Worse Happens Than What Had Happened To Your Jacuzzi?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : … ugh  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ur rite  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : h8 that u r tho  
**PokeDex** : I Usually Am Right  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : stfu  
**FUCKASS** : XD  
**FUCKASS** : lolol tette  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : ANYWAY  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i got this weird email apologizing 2 me abt how this guy can’t attend tonight  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : and then he sent me a picture of him and his friends in some coffin??

_ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡ sent a picture_

**PokeDex** : …   
**FUCKASS** : OMG  
**FUCKASS** : HOW DID THEY FIT ALL 3 OF THEM IN THE COFFIN??????  
**PokeDex** : It Is A Nice Looking Coffin  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : NOT THE POINT IDIOTS  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : just like  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : y ?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : how did he get a coffin in the 1st place ?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i mean im p sure hes rich af bc of his family but like  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : did he just buy a coffin for fun  
**FUCKASS** : ID BUY A COFFIN FOR FUN!1!!!!!!!!!!!  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : but ur poor  
**FUCKASS** : DX  
**FUCKASS** : I KNOW THAT ALREADY  
**PokeDex** : It Is Halloween  
**PokeDex** : Maybe It Is His Way In Getting Into The Halloween Spirit?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : … k i kinda get that  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : but like  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : is the thing used  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : cuz if it is that’s REALLY gross  
**PokeDex** : It Probably Isn’t  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : … probably …  
**FUCKASS** : probably…?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i have so many questions  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : BUT ALSO  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : MORE IMPORTANTLY  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : WHY WAS LEN HERE ?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : EXPLAIN ?  
**FUCKASS** : you know lenny?  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : from school …  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : but explain !  
**FUCKASS** : welllll  
**FUCKASS** : pikopi lost his phone and lenny found it :P  
**FUCKASS** : raleigh and i were messing with him  
**FUCKASS** : and now lenny is searching for pikopi in IKEA  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : i want 2 ask y pi is @ ikea  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : but u know what  
**ξ(*ꈍ◡ꈍ)ξ凸 ♡** : he’s probably fuckin the lingonberry juice or smth  
**PokeDex** : Probably  
**FUCKASS** : … PROBABLY

* * *

Getting banned from IKEA hadn’t been in Piko’s Halloween plans, but having his picture forcibly taken and plastered across a “ESCORT IMMEDIATELY IF SEEN ON PREMISES” board is enough for him to know that he’s never going to step foot in there again.

Mournful, he treads out of the humongous store, a plastic bag of lingonberry juice boxes in hand, and moans. Silver bangs obscure his vision, a usual pet peeve of Piko’s, but he can’t manage to give any fucks at the moment; he just moved back to his hometown, and he’s _already_ kicked out of the nearest IKEA in the district.

“Hey,” a tenor voice rings behind, suspiciously cordial. Lifting his head, he pivots to the direction of the voice and meets blue eyes and golden locks. The stranger’s grin falters, and Piko has no idea why except conclude it’s his resting bitch face that is the problem. Piko holds back the urge to look away again.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” the stranger apologizes. The sincerity catches Piko off-guard, but he lets the teenager, who can be no older than him, continue. “I was trying to find you, but I didn’t know what you actually looked like, and then I had to trip on _this_ ,” — the stranger grabs at his white cape, shakes it, and frustratedly throws it in the air in a matter of a few seconds — “stupid thing. This is—this is a great, big mess. Really sorry about this.”

Once he finishes rambling, the stranger exhales a breath neither the two knew he was holding. He cards through his golden locks nervously, and Piko feels as though he must be so fatigued to hear a, “I didn’t want to meet like this,” from someone so unfamiliar.

 _It’s strange_ , Piko thinks, somewhat mesmerized by the teen, _that someone can look so nice when they sigh_.

Then, like a flying bird is to a stagnant window, realization smacks Piko in the back of his head as he registers the contrite words of the stranger.

“Do you know me?” It sounds less like a question and more of an accusatory statement, but Piko decides to go with it. “I, uh, never met you in my life, I’m pretty sure.”

“How sure? I think you know me better than others, if you catch my drift,” the stranger teases, cocking an eyebrow. A beat passes, and when the teenager realizes that no, Piko, in fact, does _not_ catch his drift, the stranger groans. “Actually, please forget I ever said that. That was stupid, and I’m confident that you want to erase my, uh…”

“Oh my god,” Piko gasps. “You’re GiganticOTN.”

“Please don’t call me that outside.”

“You can call me boku_no_piko,” is Piko’s immediate response but regrets it right afterwards. “Uh, never mind. Don’t.

“I just never thought I would meet you like… this.” Piko gestures to the stranger—no, _Len’s_ cosplay. “You, uh, look nice, by the way. I didn’t know you liked _Tales of Zestiria_.”

“To be honest, I have no idea what it’s about,” Len confesses with a sheepish laugh. He scratches the back of his head, blue eyes looking Piko up and down. “You don’t look half bad yourself, Piko. You make a good Mikleo.”

“And I think you make a good Sorey.”

When Len smiles, it’s a little blinding for Piko, but he’s otherwise grateful when he senses the tension releasing from him, like helium escaping from a balloon. Adjusting to someone’s presence so easily is a concept that is unfamiliar to Piko, Micchan being the only other exception to this.

 _Unfamiliar_ , Piko believes, _but it’s not bad either._

“It’s nice to meet you,” blurts Piko, IKEA already far from his mind. Hesitant but determined, he stretches his hand towards Len. “I’m, uh, Piko. But you already knew that.”

The blond in front of him blinks at the outstretched hand, perplexed, but grins seconds later. He snatches Piko’s hand, his grip surprisingly strong for someone so lanky. Unsurprisingly, however, it’s warm. “My name’s Len. And the pleasure is all mine.”

* * *

 _October 31, 2017  
_ _9:22 PM_

 **boku_no_piko** : micchan

_mikumikumii♪ is now online_

**mikumikumii♪** : pikkun! i was just thinking about you!! (*ﾟﾛﾟ)  
**boku_no_piko** : i was,,  
**boku_no_piko** : thinking about you too  
**boku_no_piko** : i’m sorry I was just gone  
**mikumikumii♪** : but…? (・・。)ゞ  
**boku_no_piko** : but I'm back. Permanently  
**boku_no_piko** : i hope you won’t mind me dropping by your house often  
**mikumikumii♪** : come by anytime, pikkun!! ✧ﾟ・:*.ﾟ☆(ノꈨຶꎁꈨຶ)ノ☆ﾟ.*:・ﾟ✧  
**boku_no_piko** : wow  
**boku_no_piko** : that’s an,,, ugly kaomoji  
**mikumikumii♪** : it’s only for special occasions!! (ノꈨຶꎁꈨຶ)ノ❤  
**boku_no_piko** : o  
**boku_no_piko** : but speaking of special occasions,,,

_boku_no_piko sent a picture_

**boku_no_piko** : len says hi  
**mikumikumii♪** : len!! ∑(´ﾟωﾟ｀*)  
**mikumikumii♪** : i forgot that he was supposed to buy the ingredients for our jiggly cheesecake… (´・ω・`;;)  
**boku_no_piko** : don’t worry. We bought them  
**boku_no_piko** : but,, this does ruin our surprise  
**boku_no_piko** : which was not planned btw  
**boku_no_piko** : he doesn’t know toz either  
**mikumikumii♪** : you two both look good!! (*・∀-)b  
**mikumikumii♪** : i wished we all matched… (´д｀)

_mikumikumii♪ sent a picture_

**boku_no_piko** : !  
**boku_no_piko** : your idol costume,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : is very cute,,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : o  
**boku_no_piko** : len agrees too  
**mikumikumii♪** : thank you very much!! (*・ω人)  
**boku_no_piko** : but that brings me to my next point,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : len dressed up as sorey since you told him he was your favorite character  
**boku_no_piko** : but I remember you telling me that mikleo was your favorite  
**boku_no_piko** : ,,, hence why I dressed up like him,,,  
**boku_no_piko** : so,,  
**boku_no_piko** : which one is your favorite?  
**mikumikumii♪** : hm… ( ˙꒳˙ )  
**mikumikumii♪** : why can’t they both be? ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡愛

* * *

 _November 1, 2017  
_ _2:03 AM_

_GiganticOTN is now online_

_boku_no_piko sent a picture_

**boku_no_piko** : happy late halloween  
**whatsnewpussycat** : HOLY SHIT  
**whatsnewpussycat** : ITS PICKLE  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Good evening… or morning, Piko. We’re all glad to see you again. I think it is safe to say that we were all curious to your sudden departure. Are you all right?  
**boku_no_piko** : i appreciate your concern,,  
**boku_no_piko** : and I’ll try not to disappear that much anymore  
**boku_no_piko** : i was just really busy moving and took 18 hr naps throughout the past days  
**boku_no_piko** : but,,  
**boku_no_piko** : i’ll be in your care from now on. I hope we can see each other too, if you dont mind?  
**PrinceLongya☪** : I would gladly come and visit.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : FUCXK YEAH LETS GO  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and honestly we were planning to see you anyway  
**whatsnewpussycat** : id find out where you live  
**boku_no_piko** : uh  
**GiganticOTN** : Ofc  
**boku_no_piko** : len  
**boku_no_piko** : you’re literally making a cheesecake with me and miku right now  
**mikumikumii♪** : and poorly too… (;・∀・)  
**mikumikumii♪** : i think he put too much eggs in this? (;;・∀・)  
**mikumikumii♪** : this isn’t supposed to look like scrambled eggs… (;;;・∀・)  
**GiganticOTN** : IM TRYING  
**boku_no_piko** : and failing  
**GiganticOTN** : You cut me deep  
**PrinceLongya☪** : All of you seemed like you had a lot of fun. I hope your night was enjoyable as ours.  
**whatsnewpussycat** : dw who cares about cheesecake when all of you look great  
**whatsnewpussycat** : seriously  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i love toz  
**whatsnewpussycat** : and you guys dressed up as all of the best characters  
**whatsnewpussycat** : sorey… mikleo… nico yazawa  
**whatsnewpussycat** : i loved the part when nico did stuff in the game  
**whatsnewpussycat** : 11/10 would nico nico nii again  
**mikumikumii♪** : oh, absolutely! (๑・ω-)～♥  
**mikumikumii♪** : but hm, aren’t we all forgetting someone? (^～^;)ゞ

_❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄ is now online_

**whatsnewpussycat** : uh oh  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : So…  
**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : Who the everloving _fuck_ locked me in a coffin while I was taking a nap?  
**GiganticOTN** : What  
**boku_no_piko** : uh,,  
**mikumikumii♪** : i think this is the first time i’ve ever heard yukari curse before… (((╹д╹;)))  
**whatsnewpussycat** : SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST NYALL

_whatsnewpussycat is now offline_

**boku_no_piko** : ???  
**GiganticOTN** : Should I ask…  
**PrinceLongya☪** : Everyone, take cover!

_PrinceLongya☪ is now offline_

**mikumikumii♪** : guess i’ll log off ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_mikumikumii♪ is now offline_

_boku_no_piko is now offline_

_GiganticOTN is now offline_

**❄✿ yuzuki yukari ✿❄** : … I still need someone to come get me. Please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **afterreign** : hey do you wanna say anything cool that i can include in my a/n  
>  **[FiniteXS](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3401399/FiniteXS)** : uhh idk  
>  **afterreign** : ok perfect  
>  **FiniteXS** : what
> 
> anyway, expect update next year? i know it’s a long time from now, but a lot of stuff is piling up. always remember to take a mental health break, folks (✿´∀`✿)ﾉ
> 
> and... im working on another project, so who knows? but if ppl liked my older vocaloid fics (i know, impossible), i have smth interesting for (n)y'all...
> 
> deuces


	6. out of context

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Len** : Hey
> 
> (alternatively: A message from the future. But what for?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> key for username(s):  
> Len - len

_November 16, 2018_ _  
_ _3:01 AM_

_Len is now online_

**Len** : Hey   
**Len** : Hows it going?   
**Len** : Uh wait   
**Len** : That was a stupid question   
**Len** : Dont answer that   
**Len** : I know we havent… Talked in awhile   
**Len** : It’s uh little hard when you blocked my number haha   
**Len** : But Im sorry   
**Len** : God Im so sorry for everything   
**Len** : Im not saying this so youd forgive me because apologies dont work like that   
**Len** : I just wanted you to know   
**Len** : … God this sounds so insincere over Skype   
**Len** : I feel like a part of me remembered but. I felt like I was already too late   
**Len** : Should I have just taken the midnight train?   
**Len** : “Blood is thicker than water” doesnt mean shit I realized   
**Len** : Im sorry Im so stupid   
**Len** : … Considering this happened I probably am too late   
**Len** : Just   
**Len** : I understand if you hate me and never want to talk to me again   
**Len** : And you have that right. You always will   
**Len** : But I   
**Len** : I will never forget you ever again   
**Len** : I promise   
**Len** : Theres so much left to say though…   
**Len** : God   
**Len** : Where do I begin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha

**Author's Note:**

> (edit: ao3 does not like the fancy font i used for yukari and the frog emoji i used for miku so that dream is dead)
> 
> ((shout out to [fifi](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3401399/FiniteXS) for betaing this piece of shit ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)))


End file.
